Wednesday, December 01, 2010

It doesn't just happen.



It hear it a lot... People look at our family and say, "I wish I could....." (fill in the blank)

Adopt a child, stay home with my children, go on a mission trip, homeschool..

I'm not saying that any of these things are for everyone. I don't believe that. It's just that it truly hurts my heart to hear people just dismiss a dream God has placed in their heart while looking at me as if I have some special code I cracked.

What I'd like to say is, "You can. Do it. It doesn't just happen."

I'm not some super woman who was magically given all the abilities, luck, skills and money to do these things.

I think sometimes it's easy to look at the picture of someone's life and think it looks pretty and neat and easy and wish we had it... But it didn't just happen.

Here are a few of the remarks I sometimes hear.

I wish I could adopt a child but...

YOU CAN!

For me that one started for me as a teenager. I had that wish and dream at 15. Having that dream come true even involved making sure I dated guys who were open to this. :-) It took 15 years for us to bring home our first adopted child. It was a long road and lots of sacrifice. It involved making sure we had enough income. It involved buying a cheaper house than most of our friends. It involved buying really old and basic cars all so we could afford the adoption fees to come.

Even after we brought our first adopted child home it was no picnic. It involved being yelled at and hurt sometimes. It meant not taking it personally no matter what. It meant that when I accidentally took it personally I ended up in a ball on the ground weeping.

Then our second adoption- It meant adopting a child who was special needs and was supposed to need at least one surgery for cleft palate. It meant my 10 yr anniversary was spent on a pick up trip with my momma instead of in Greece with my hubby. It meant a toddler who at 2 could not walk well, run, eat well, talk..

Third adoption-Meant adopting a lil boy with a lot of papers that said he has lots of scary problems. It meant deciding at the drop of a hat to stop everything for an adoption we had no idea was about to happen. It involved canceling a vacation and stopping life to love this little wonder.

And it's all WORTH IT!! I wouldn't trade it for the world. See that's the thing. We worked our tushies off for this thing called adoption. So you see... You CAN do it.

I wish I could stay at home with my children but...

YOU CAN!

Again this took YEARS to accomplish. Even before kids we lived only off of Russ' income. We went to MBA school 2 months after KK was born and lived off of school loans so that Russ could make more money after graduation.

Again... Bought cheaper house, super cheap cars, all our clothes come from Marshalls, yada yada yada...

SO.. YOU CAN DO IT! It may take time and effort and sacrifice but it is SO WORTH IT!

I wish I could go on a mission trip but..

YOU CAN!

Scared? Yeah. So was I. Ask my hubby. Before the trip when I went to Africa I spent the night before bawling my eyes out cause I was just nervous. I also spent 24 hours in Africa on a toilet while simultaneously barfing into a sink while there was no running water. Look, I'm just getting honest here. Turned out to be a life changing trip.

Ya know what??? SO WORTH IT and YES you can do it.

I wish I could homeschool but...

YOU CAN!

Are you kidding me???? I was terrified to homeschool. I cried for 2 SOLID weeks- completely petrified of the prospect. I am not brilliant or crafty or terribly creative.

It came down to this... We were bringing home a traumatized, sensitive, sweet and easily injured almost 8 year old who had never had a minute of education or a healthy bonding experience. Sigh...

I was terrified. I looked into private school but there is that whole thing about it's really expensive and we spend lots of money on adoptions and me being a stay at home mom. :-)

So for me that meant- Homeschool was it. Now I can't imagine it any other way. I am so grateful that our situation pushed me to do it. I LOVE IT!

SO YES! You can do it!!!

It might be messy. It might even LOOK impossible. So many of these dreams seemed so unreachable 15-20 years ago.

You may have various obstacles in your way that I never had to face. We all walk our own journey.

Here's the thing. God didn't ever promise us that the things He called us to do would be simple or pretty. Sometimes people's lives may look like post cards but I know from experience... They NEVER are.

If God has placed a dream in your heart GO FOR IT! Maybe it will take 15 years. Maybe it will scare the tar out of you. Maybe it will stretch you and make you cry.

GOOD!!

That's the best kind of dream. It's the kind that draws you closer to God and makes you more than you are capable of being. DO IT! Start your journey...

It doesn't just happen.

Hugs, Angel :-)

14 comments:

Julie said...

Amen sister!

thewindowwasher said...

Thank you!

Christene said...

Well said and inspiring

Leah and Maya said...

HI I never comment, but I do follow (I have dial up and its just so slow it takes forever for the comment form to come up)
I have to say YAY!!!!!!! we are trying to adopt again and its a long process, but after fighting to get our daughter home from Guatemala we know its all worth it (we knew it before). Always agreed that we should raise our children so one of us would (yay me gladly) saty home.
So true most of the people that tell me they can't afford to stay home but wish they could, drive nicer cars, have bigger houses, and take vacations that cost money. I get frusterated but say nothing. I don't agree with their choice but its theirs to make. Thanks I LOVE this post!

Amy said...

THANK YOU! LOVE THIS and SO TRUE. Cause remember- there was NO WAY I could homeschool. ;0)
YOU, my amazing friend- bless me in more ways than you will ever know. Thanks for always encouraging me so that I am brave enough to GO FOR IT. :)

Bill & Carrie said...

Lovin this post, a big amen! We just adopted our third child a few weeks ago. He too was a BIG FAT SURPRISE and a whole new territory for us (um, open domestic adoption- yikes!), pretty much still scared out of my mind, but like you said, here we are doing it. I may be sick as a dog with a cold, tired beyond imagination,and completely overwhelmed with 3 kids 3 and under but it is ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT!!!

Great to meet you I just found your blog through Mary Beth Picker and I love it! Love to your sweet family!

Carrie Lantry
http://lantryadoption.blogspot.com

Tara said...

oh my Angel...here you go again! All in a good way.

When I first met you, I wanted all those things and wondered how. Then I did this miraculous thing that changed my life. I started reading a bible and praying (and I mean ON MY KNEES, PRAYING OUT LOUD kinda praying).

3 years later and A LOT of sacrifices (including relationships) I:
1. STAY AT HOME full time
2. HOME SCHOOL (and love it)
3. HAVE (come close) to a mission trip that was cancelled (thankfully, because NOW)
4. AM in the process of ADOPTING

So it's true, it doesn't just happen!

Thanks for the reminders - it's so easy to look back into someone else's life and say 'it just happens' But, from experience, as you walk through the treches of life with God on your side and lots of sacrifices, I CAN all happen!!!

Thanks for the friendly reminder.
Love that heart of yours girl!

Wendy said...

You are so right. Where there is the will, there is a way. You just have to take that leap of faith....and I mean faith in yourself as well as faith in our Lord.

Wendy said...

You are so right. Where there is the will, there is a way. You just have to take that leap of faith....and I mean faith in yourself as well as faith in our Lord.

S. and Company said...

Thank you for this. I really needed it tonight. :o)

Darlene said...

thank you.
amen.
amazing post.

Erin Moore said...

I'm so glad I read your blog!
:-)

Stacey said...

I needed this more than you realize!

ChrissyBernal said...

Oh my gosh! Yes, yes, yes! I have a blog post in the works talking about this very thing--someone told me that I can do all the things I do because I "have it easy." bahahahaha
I totally agree! You Can!! Thank you for posting!