Thursday, November 11, 2010

What's in a name??


Kai Justice

This name is special. I adore it with all my heart. It's not JUST a name. God gave Kai his name. I'd love to share the story with you...

July 3rd of this past summer I wrote this blog post.

My dear friend Amy had mentioned this scripture on her blog and it gripped my heart in a powerful way. It was as if the words of this scripture echoed everything God had been showing me this past year...

Amos 5:21-24 (The Message)

21-24"I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want.

It was what had been stirring in my soul for months... maybe years. God was yelling at me everywhere I turned. THIS was the message that was burning in my heart..

The truth is that this hit me in the gut for a reason. I was struggling with the desire to lay back and get comfortable. Cause ya know, I was only slightly crazy so far-3 girls- 2 adoptions. Things were just getting easier again. We were recovering from the adoptions financially. The girls were getting a little older and more settled in. Life was feeling, well comfortable and I was liking it.

I was starting to feel like God might call me to stretch again and frankly felt a bit whiny about that. I mean Wahhhh.... woa is me!! Hadn't I done enough? Couldn't I straddle the two lives?

I wanted to be a spiritual "Hannah Montana" and have the best of both worlds. I wanted to be a spiritual giant who loves Jesus, adopts, serves BUT still have the American dream too! EXCEPT- except that isn't how it works at all is it? Why did I want to hold on so tightly to my comfort? I was struggling inside but the message echoing in my heart was this..

I'M SICK OF IT!! I don't care about the fancy buildings... the programs... the pretty music... That stuff all means NOTHING when God's people are ambivalent. All of it means NOTHING if we ignore the least of these. What God wants more than ANY OF these religious projects we do in the name of God is JUSTICE!! He deeply desires oceans of that...

..so much so that Amos tells us God brought down judgement on His people and allowed them to be taken over by enemies to bring them back to what was important. Their focus on the outward and lack of care for those in need enraged a holy and righteous God.

Was God saying to His people that songs and buildings infuriated Him??? NO!!! He was saying their lack of compassion for those in need infuriated Him. Their disregard for injustice made all the other stuff useless.


The scripture and message of Amos has been stuck in my brain like glue ever since....

I prayed "LORD! Please don't let this be ME!!! I don't want to be busy doing all this stuff that I think pleases You and all the time your heart is grieved. Please Lord... please let me desire the things you do. Don't let me waste my life being comfortable and thinking that was enough when all the time I never knew YOUR heart at all.

I couldn't shut up about Amos... I blogged about it. I talked poor Russ' ear off about it. I talked to all my BFFs about it.

July 4th, the very next day after He slapped me upside the head, God burdened Russ and I to start the homestudy process to adopt a son from Africa. (More on that later- it's still happening!)

I was ready to let go again and trust that HE knew better.

So that week we were praying about what our son's name should be and when I prayed about Africa I felt very confident that it was the name Keegan Sky-bright light in the sky. I LOVED IT!

However, I KEPT hearing this other name swirl around in my head... Kai Justice... and I had no idea WHY! I mean I loved the name but we only had one adoption process going on and I didn't even know what it meant.

I even asked Russ if we ever adopted another boy if he'd be open to the name Kai Justice. (cause even then we said we would probably adopt one more boy though I was fighting the idea of FIVE children)

He said, "Well, it's kinda hippie... but I like it. What does it mean?" I told him I had no idea and just couldn't quit thinking the name.

Fast forward to October when a precious family told us they felt that a little 2 year old boy from Korea was meant to be ours all along... we opened the e-mail attachment... saw the picture of his darling face... after we ooohhed and ahhhed for awhile about him..

I looked at Russ and said, "That's not Keegan Sky."

Russ agreed, "Nope. Keegan Sky is in Africa."

I said, "Is his name Kai Justice?"

Russ replied, "MAYBE! What does it mean??"

So I immediately looked it up and then my chin about hit the ground!

I literally yelled, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!"

Russ looked up at me confused till I revealed... it means

"Oceans Of Justice..."

We just stared at each other for a second a little stunned. Then Russ in all his brilliance says "Well, then I guess that's his name." :-) I love that guy.

God is so good....

Amos 5:21-24 (The Message)

21-24"I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want.


Oh what I would have missed if I had let my American dream win. I would have missed it, I would have missed the whole point. He kindly broke me of my American dream and gave me something infinitely better. He gave me "Oceans Of Justice." I know that with all my heart and every single time I call Kai Justice it is a message for me and for all of us about God's passion.

Oh Lord, thank you for knowing what I need better than I do.

He is so good and kind.

Hugs, Angel


10 comments:

Scott Klamert said...

"Oceans Of Justice..." I LOVE IT!!! Gives me goose bumps :)

Anonymous said...

So amazing! We had a similar experience with our daughters name, Elia meaning "My God Has Answered Me". God truly named our daughter and held her in His hands until we could be united.
I'm so happy for your family Angel! Your story gives me hope that God does have a plan for our second child and it might be just around the corner! We're waiting and waiting and looking forward to watching the miracles unfold again!

Tara said...

OH MY Angel...I have MAJOR goosebumps (for several reasons).

THIS story is JUST what I needed to hear to get me out of my funk (had some unexpecting news about our adoption process - it's on hold for like 10 months, until our pending move is complete :( )

You've just reminded me that God has HIS plan and it differs greatly from what OUR plan is. I have to trust that HIS plan is best.

AND

I'm in the middle of reading Radical - eeesh. So, you, my dear have just renewed my faith (yet) again with your post.

THANK YOU...I just can't express enough HOW thankful I am for you and your wisdom!!

So happy for you and your family!!!

xox

Lisa said...

I am LOVING this journey!!!!! Thank you for sharing it with us ... he is precious and I'm so glad that he is home :)

Blessings, Lisa C.

Julie said...

THAT is so freaking cool!!! Love moments like that and what a cool thing to be able to tell him as he grows up.

Lindsey said...

Ummm...I'm still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. So beautiful! I love how our God loves us so much that He cares about every detail!

Carolyn T said...

Angel...THIS IS SO GOD!!! I love it. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!

Marianne said...

Angel, I've come back and read your post several times. What a wonderful reminder and lesson on how we need to listen and be obedient to God. I am so thrilled and privileged to be able to follow, through your blog, how God has blessed your family and learn from your experiences. Kai Justice is absolutely adorable and a perfect fit for your family.

Darlene said...

wow. Angel.
wow.


I can merely shake my head at how COOL God is over the details.....

elizabeth engelhardt creations said...

This is SO COOL. I love that you shared it and helped 'snap' me back to 'God reality' and that I DON'T WANT THE AMERICAN DREAM!!! He sure is precious.