Friday, November 12, 2010

What about AFRICA???

OH BOY was that a question I was asking myself a couple of weeks ago...

WHAT ABOUT AFRICA???

As you read in my previous post the selfish yuppie
part of me wanted to stop at 3 kids, buy a vacation home and start getting more pedicures.... Oh and a few massages. ;-)


Ok. Let's be honest. I always knew that part would never win. It couldn't win. But still that part was there..

Now here we are- I have started this adoption to Africa and God has given me this little wonder of a boy dropped into my life and WHAT ABOUT AFRICA???


At first I started to rationalize a bit. I mean here's how it happened... God told us to start the home study process on July 4th. I flew through my paperwork like a bat on fire. You people witnessed the insanity. Suddenly once the US stuff was done it was like I COULD NOT make myself do anything else!! I would literally pick up the phone to call the agency to check on something and would feel like God was telling me, "HANG UP THE PHONE AND WAIT!"

Since I was suddenly slow as Christmas I didn't push and therefore none of my Africa paperwork was done. Which was a really good thing. If we had the Africa side done we would have been matched with an identified child and they would have started trying to get that child paperwork ready. Then things would have gotten complicated in trying to bring home Kai. God's timing is amazing.

As it turned out we received our completed home study the DAY Kai's adoption agency agreed that we should be the ones to adopt him. THAT DAY!!! Not only that... We were approved for the EXACT age, gender, EVERYTHING.

It's ridiculous. Sooooo...I started to rationalize. Maybe it wasn't about Africa at all. Maybe this was it instead.

Or maybe it was both and that scared the tar outta me. I started doing the math on how many small children I would have and whether we could travel easily and how much Disney tickets would cost. I KNOW! I KNOW! I'm pathetic but that's just the facts people. I didn't promise you pretty. I promised reality. These children require sacrifice and sometimes I'm selfish and ugly. There it is. So all my calculations and I figured out there is a reason why people have 2.5 children. It's easier and less expensive. Hee hee... :-)



But ya know what I remembered then? I remembered how when we decided to get prego it happened WAY quicker than we expected really. I mean we wanted it to happen badly but it happened like RIGHT AWAY and I thought AM I READY FOR THIS??? We were about to move off to Michigan for Russ to go to MBA school. I was staying home with Kaitlyn so that meant... Well, it meant we were crazy. We heard about it too- how crazy it was. Still, something in my gut said this was RIGHT and I would never change it. Never, never, never would I give up my KK. Oh the joy she brings me. I'm so thankful.


Then came Zoe. We had JUST gotten out of MBA school when we started her adoption. We didn't have the money. We didn't have any experience. We were adopting out of birth order. We were adopting an older child. I had this moment where I thought WHAT AM I DOING??? Cause this was crazy and breaking all the rules. It didn't make any logical sense. We could HAVE as many beautiful blonde bio babies as we wanted so what was I DOING??? Still I KNEW she was ours... I KNEW God had given me this Krysta Zoe. So we fell in love knowing we were crazy. Oh she's so amazing. Thank you Lord for my Zoe girl. She is more than I deserve.

Soon we came to Kaiya. One minute we were thinking MAYBE domestic -meet with a crisis pregnancy center and ooch forward. Next thing I know we are running around getting paperwork for a special needs toddler. What was I thinking??? This was REALLY crazy. She'd been in an orphanage for 2 years with 36 kids and like 3 care takers. She had a cleft lip and palate. We had JUST gotten our savings back up from the 1st adoption. Was I NUTS??? Clearly yes. The minute I saw her sweet face I knew she was mine. So off we flew to China a mere seven months later and OH THANK YOU LORD!! Kaiya Rain Zhen drives me batty sometimes and makes me smile every single day!!!! Oh how I adore her. She's my spicy China baby and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Finally we come to Kai Justice. Well, I mean REALLY!!! This is a disruption situation. This little one has a stack of papers that diagnose him with a lot of scary words. If you google the scary words in the scary paperwork then you can't sleep at night. So am I THAT crazy?? My heart told me this is my son not a diagnosis. So yes... I am. Now here is this little man who is like the puzzle piece we never knew was missing. He FITS here!!! I am completely in love with my little Korean wonder.
So that brings us to Africa.... We have four kids... We're happy and comfortable and have great kids. Why would we want to DO THIS??? Because... My son is there... And I think I've finally accepted that I love this kinda crazy. This is the kinda crazy that makes a person step out of a boat and walk on water JUST cause Jesus said to do it. I'm so grateful that God held my hand so I wouldn't sink under the waves from the doubts about whether all this insanity could REALLY be HIM!

I'm good now. I don't expect it to be easy or pretty. It never is. In between all the field trips and photo sessions are melt downs, explosive diapers, temper tantrums, dirty clothes, sleepless nights and growth I never knew I could experience. These miracles God has sent me have changed EVERYTHING. I am changed and thankful. I am so joyful. I am so grateful. I am so ready. No doubt...no sinking this time.


It turns out that Kaitlyn Elise wasn't too early or too expensive! Turns out she is my amazing little diva who brings me unspeakable joy.


It turns out Krysta Zoe isn't a scary older child adoption. She is the most compassionate and loving person I know.

It turns out Kaiya Rain Zhen isn't a special needs toddler permanently scarred by institutional life. It turns out she's the brave and hilarious and capable of just about anything.

It turns out Kai Justice Easton isn't a stack of scary diagnosis. It turns out he's a dream come true.

So I say....

Africa???

Yeah... bring it on.

23 comments:

Barry and Amy said...

Praise the Lord! I was hoping you were still going to adopt from Ethiopia! (We're adopting a 3 yr old little boy from Ethiopia, so I have a vested interest =)

What a beautiful, multicultural family you will be!

Tonya said...

Awesome, awesome, aawwwwwssssome! The only thing that would make this post better is if you were coming to Uganda so we could hang out. Congrats on your new baby boy, I just now got to read about him. Yay Africa! Minus yet one more. Thank you Jesus!

Tonya said...

Awesome, awesome, aawwwwwssssome! The only thing that would make this post better is if you were coming to Uganda so we could hang out. Congrats on your new baby boy, I just now got to read about him. Yay Africa! Minus yet one more. Thank you Jesus!

Erica said...

BOOYA baby! Can't wait to see who God has hand picked for your family. Five can't be bad......Disney will cost more but hey.....next time you come we must hook up. :)

Brianna Heldt said...

LOVE this post. You have spoken such encouragement to me today. Thank you so much for sharing your heart!

Anne said...

you have given me goosebumps, what a great post, thank you for sharing!

Shonni said...

Way to Go!!!! Can’t wait to see what the LORD continues to do in ya’ll’s lives.

Mary Beth said...

Love, love, love, LOVE this! Thanks for sharing your heart! I love when God takes over.

Christene said...

Well I want to say what a wonderful amazing person you are and that your journey has brought adoption back to our dinner table. I am grateful and honored to have found your blog. I will keep you informed on our journey. (oh I have one adopted son and one bio son)

Heather said...

love the children!!!! How awesome it is that you have 4 and are waiting for number 5. What blessings!

Cayle said...

I have tears in my eyes. I love your crazy life and I have always wanted a life like this. When i tell people they always wonder why I would do something like that. Your explanation had it right on and I love that.

I can't wait to follow your journey to your new son and more information on Kai. I will be praying for your family. [=

Lindsey said...

I was teary before the last picture. And after it, completely bawling. I love your big, messy, beautiful family and I've never put my arms around you. You rock chica!

Darlene said...

wow. again.

learning from you.....

Emily said...

Angel, you are truly a woman of God, I can't say it enough! I Admire your willingness to just jump when God says jump! I Hope to be this way after our Ethiopian baby gets here too! :) I hope I am never content or settled!
Love you Angel!
Emily

Wendy said...

You know that we know all about those surprise boys who come into our hearts and families! They are the best. Girl, soon you will have caught up with us and our gang of 5 kiddos. It just gets better and better!!!!!

Wendy said...

You know that we know all about those surprise boys who come into our hearts and families! They are the best. Girl, soon you will have caught up with us and our gang of 5 kiddos. It just gets better and better!!!!!

The "W" Family said...

what a cool story,only something God coul orchestrate. All your children are beautiful!

Julie said...

I'm in awe of your bravery! All of your children are SO beautiful and handpicked by Him to make you a family. And HE is coolness in itself! :)

Sarah said...

oh the tears on that post .. you are doing GREAT things Angel!

Don't forget, all of this is also made possible by your even supportive husband, sounds like he is a wonderful guy!

Looking forward to more stories to come....

Ellie said...

Angel,

Wow! So much has happened since I stopped by your blog - Congratulations!!!! Kai Justice is gorgeous - what an amazing blessing! I love your story about his name - God is awesome and I LOVE it when he speaks like that!

We have to meet someday - Our little YiWu cousins need to get to know each other :)

xo ellie

love said...

oh my stars! oh my tears.

first time here...love this very, very much. God is so much bigger than labels and names and diagnosis and preconceived notions. He knows their names, faces, hearts & this proves just how precious they are! beautiful!

Erin Moore said...

crying.

when I grow up, I want to be like you.

Tanja said...

Hi,

I love your blog and I'm always inspired when visiting here. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, especially your African adoption. I follow the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel tree- program - there is a little Ethiopian-looking boy on their page. It brings joy to my heart to think that one day there is going to be one less little boy with tears in his eyes, because of your family!
Thank you for your faithfulness.

God bless,
Tanja