Tuesday, July 01, 2008

COME ON! GET REAL!

It's time to get real ladies and gentlemen. People ask me a lot how I get up the guts to get real on the blog. The truth is I am SICK, SICK, SICK of people feeling all alone because they think everyone else is less screwed up than them. It's ridiculous. We all have our times we are flying high and our times we are doing a nose dive. Why do we all pretend? It's all a pack of lies wrapped in a bunch of arrogance. So I am going to give it my best shot and TRY to get real on this blog. This is a get real zone. No bull allowed.

So I am NOT simply breezing through this transition. It's not the children. The kids are awesome! Kaiya is precious. I have found over the years that the problem is RARELY about the kids. Yes, they are sinful and challenging and create a lot of work. The truth is though... they push buttons that show off my sin. They show me just how impatient, selfish and ugly I can truly be.


Man.... I do not know how to do this yet. Some days I think I am getting it... but seriously. 3 kids is WAY harder than two. Man alive, I feel like my work tripled with one more kid. My house is messy so much. I am trying not to let it make me crazy. You moms with 6 kids, 11 kids go ahead and giggle. You deserve a good laugh. I am at a loss for how you do the amazing job that many of you do. I am doing good just to barely keep up. Every day is a success if the mess doesn't get significantly WORSE, everyone got fed, had a bit of fun and paid some attention. LOL!! ;0)

I am a three kid rookie!!! Plus, Kaiya has the mentality of a two year old in a lot of ways but really acts more like 18 months old physically. I am having to adjust to having a baby again. It's tough to go back after having so much freedom. I was spoiled with just a 9 and 5 year old. I am really struggling to readjust to this new life and dive into where I am now. It's hard because this new reality feels so different from the one I was in 1 month ago. I know from experience that these moments pass so quickly! I want to soak it in. Mentally I just haven't gotten there yet. I need to surrender to where I am supposed to be right now even if that means everything looks like chaos to me.

Anyway.... that's the truth in my house. Would you watch this video for me and then accept my GET REAL challenge? I challenge every one of us to start being a little more real with the people around us. Let's just be where we are, who we are, and trust God. Let's all accept that we can't do better. We can only surrender more fully. Let's all be OK with not being OK all the time and love each other anyway- then see what happens. That's my challenge.






If you will accept my challenge and write your own GETTING REAL blog post would you link it to mine by entering your info below? I would love to hear your thoughts on what is REALLY going on and why we should all just get real with each other.




41 comments:

Live to love and laugh said...

Girl don't you kid yourself. Those of us with lots of kids have lots of messes. I was looking around before I got online at how messy things were. We have all been there. As for adjusting it is hard going from 2 to 3. I remember in the older kids adding that third child threw me for a loop. Hang in there and it will get better. She will adjust a little more and before long you will adjust too. Soon you will think it is a breeze.

Farrah and Jed said...

Well girlfriend I got REAL on my post today...
I hate when people hide behind reality and it's time that everyone out there gets real!!!!

HUGS to you

The Engelhardt 4 said...

Ok, so I just got REAL. Thanks for the challenge!!!

ManyBlessings said...

I'm right in the middle of "laying it all out there". The latest posts are the hardest posts I've ever done, but it's time to play it real.
d

nikki said...

I really admire your honesty Angel, this was really hard for me.

Lisa Johnson said...

I had a get real moment, and then I totally lost my mind today and forgot what it was!! :) That happens to me ALL the time!

I finally linked up with Mister Linky!!! I am so excited!!

Billie said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. For me, I was most overwhelmed going from 1 to 2 kids...basically because of the age of my kids...they were 22 months apart. The 3rd seemed easy as he came a long 3 years later and I was already used to juggling pure chaos;) But seriously, there is a HUGE difference between a 9 year old and a 2 year old. You will adjust. Goodness...it's only been a month. Think about life when KK was only 1 month old. You will learn to let things go more than you ever have before and you will find your balance (well somewhat) and then when #4, and 5, and 6 come along it will seem like no big deal! lol ps. trust me. my house is trashed ALOT!

Reba said...

I really enjoyed reading your post. I actually do try to keep it real on most of my posts but sometimes I feel SO very alone when I do. I love being a mom but some days are just tougher than others. And the constant mess...drives me crazy! Going from two to three was harder than three to four quite honestly. And yes, having a baby again is not easy. We had gotten to a very comfortable age with the older kids when we brought home a very sullen toddler. Then we just about had her on that route to indpendence when we brought home a baby. And sometimes that empty house/empty nest looks REALLY far away. I will also say though that I truly enjoy these baby moments in a way I don't think I did with the others. I think I know it is probably the end of the baby moments for me (though I waiver on that constantly) and I am treasuring them. Well, most of them! :) Oh, and you amaze me. You are this brave, adventurous woman...raising three kids, doting on your husband, traveling, doing missions. I really am in awe of you!
Reba

Renee said...

Hi!! Hang in there!! We just brought 2 boys home from Haiti on May 13th...there were so many days i felt that i was drowning!! I thought 'what have we done, we are past out limit!!' I had to focus daily on God's plan and just do the basics to survive. It is getting a bit easier from day to day....then we may hit another tough day..
I enjoy reading your blog and will start sharing more REAL feelings on mine. It is hard at times when your read those perfect peoples blogs..i start to wonder why I am having such a hard time. Thanks for being real!
love,
Renee

Alice said...

I love the way you are so REAL on your blog...that is what attracted me to continue to read your blog when I first found you.

I posted a REAL blog on my blog as well. I do try to keep it real all the time on my blog but don't always do a good job doing that.

Wife to the Rockstar said...

LOVE this post. IT ROCKS.

Wife to the Rockstar said...

Okay, I did it.

Camnamie said...

I love it Angel! If I had a blog I would type away. I love getting real. It's sad when I find myself trying to be one of those shiny plastic people. I'm so grateful to have friends that I can be real with!

Amie

Anonymous said...

Angel,
Thanks for being real or I would always think that you have it all together. :o)I still am impressed you manage to keep a blog. I appreciate it. I have read 3 of the books you recommended. I sure wish I had "Dangerous Surrender" in 1989 when I came back for a trip around the world that involved mission work and seeing some hard stuff. Would of perhaps saved me some therapy money and from the depression she mentions.

Anyway, I wanted to pass this on regarding being real. I don't have a blog. I haven't even managed to go out and buy a digital camera yet let alone organize my piles of photos. :o) There is a book called "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" by Todd Wilson. He has a website: www.familymanweb.com . It is about being real and much applies to non-home schoolers too. He has an excellent book for dads as well. Anyway, I think a lot of the book applies to non-homeschoolers as well. Here are the lies.....#1 Everyone else's kids are better. #2 Everyone else's home is cleaner #3 Everyone else fixes better meals. #4 Everyone else is more disciplined and more spiritual. #5 Everyone else's marriage is better. #6 Everyone else can do it all. #7 Every other mom loves home schooling. #8 Everyone else is more ccapable. #9 You are the only one who is falling apart and feels the way you feel. Then he goes into the truths. Don't we all get hooked by these lies and others. I sure do. He suggests getting at least one other person to be real with so you do not feel alone. Angel, you have done that also with your post. Thank you. Keep the raisens on the floor...makes me feel better about myself and the piles in my house. :o)
Julie

Laura said...

Okay - I did it too!

Holly said...

Angel... I finally did it.
I won't pretend to like it and it's so long that I decided to break it up... so the link is to part 1... my struggle with letting go and really trusting God... and failing and running and hiding and trying....
Getting real for HIS glory,
Holly

Holly said...

Angel... I finally did it.
I won't pretend to like it and it's so long that I decided to break it up... so the link is to part 1... my struggle with letting go and really trusting God... and failing and running and hiding and trying....
Getting real for HIS glory,
Holly

emily said...

I love a sister committed to living an authentic, transparent life. Of course I can't relate, seeing how my life is perfect and all! :) What a joke-- praise the Lord for His abounding grace in our lives, huh??

Great post. I plan on getting real once I can get my house clean and kids to obey!!

Melinda said...

Love it Angel! I posted mine. Going from 2 to 3 kids is by far the hardest transition. You are not alone in that. I also feel like my kids are really not the problem. It is my sinfulness that is the problem, and it just manifests itself into the kids. Also, love the song, it is one of my favorite's by Casting Crowns. If you get a chance maybe we can connect by phone finally. Email me if you need my number again.
Melinda

Midnite Scrapper said...

Okay, this is the first time I've ever read your blog. (I got it from Christine's blog.) Anyway, I wanted to say that I was thinking of that exact song (Stained Glass Masquerade) as I read your post. Thank you for "keeping it real". I am a pastor's wife and a homeschool mom and I am not perfect. I will be posting and linking back to your blog later today. Just wanted to say thanks for the prompt. We need more people that are REAL.

Paul and Cynthia Coppinger said...

Angel,
I am Elizabeth's sister and hear about you quite often, and want you to know that even though we have never met you have touched my life. So I took your challenge...and am scared to death of what people might think, and then realized that it is that fear that hinders how real I am. So I am going to leave it at Jesus' feet,and take of the mask I have been hiding behind. Check out our blog http://paulandcynthia.blogspot.com

Cynthia

Bella's momma said...

Hello~

I found you through Courtney's blog (wife to a rockstar). I love this post and I took the challenge!

Thanks again and have a Happy 4th,

Krista @Bits and Pieces

Jennifer said...

Hey Angel...
GREAT POST!! I have been thinking of Getting Real about some very personal and yet IMPORTANT issues in our family... and this might be just the challenge that I needed to GET IT DONE. I will work on that in the next few days.

As for the changes in #2 and going to 3 kids... I had those moments when I thought... HOLY COW, what just happened?? But it really does get better. I think that you start to decide what's IMPORTANT and what is NOT. In the end...looking back and knowing that your kids were loved, your family was of utmost importance... and that you were honoring God - everything else really doesn't matter!!

We will keep praying for you during the adjustments! IT will all get better!

Becca said...

Okay - this is scary, but I'm going to do it. This is really stepping out for me...

Peace and Hugs,
Becca

mamamia said...

Hi there,

I found you through Krista's blog. This was SO HARD! I hope that you will take th time to read this and pray in agreement with me that God is going to do a powerful work in these areas of my life. Thanks for being "real."

Micha

Kristen said...

Love it. Found your blog from Christine's. I am composing my "get real" blog right now . . .

Meridith said...

Okay, I'm real! Mer

Diane Davis said...

Love these thoughts... I do get real on my blog, and I do think it makes some people uncomfortable. I just wrote two posts in June (Roses and Relationships, and Getting Real With Myself).

Nice to meet another REAL blogger! :)

Jenny said...

Thanks Angel! I love your blog. I took the challenge and got REAL! I feel so much better.

Pam said...

I finally bit the bullet and got real. let the fall out begin!! ;o)

Christine said...

What a great post. I just found your blog through Courtney's and even though my name is not on the list I think I may just take you up on the challenge. I'm just not to sure how real I should get.

Christine said...

Also, Your youngest daughter sounds alot like the little boy we have just adopted. We bring him home on the 18th. He is 21 months but actaully is more like an 11 month old---- across the board. He also has special needs including a cleft pallete.

Maria Izabel said...

I don't have kids...I don't have a job anymore, I finished school just now and I am about to loose the person that I have been with for almost 8 years now...I have no idea what to do next, so I guess i'll take more classes to get distracted...I'm also taking french lesson for whatever it's worth...,my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and he just had surgery nad ther removed almost his whole stomach, I've been dealing with depression for more than 5 months now, and trying to hide it from everyone, since my mom is also depressed...I've failed in every single asect of my life...I've made a career out of making bad choices...and still I have no idea of what to do next...But i have my FAMILY and sooo many people don't even have anything to eat specially in Guatemala...I've turned on the TV only to watch the news and feel better (which is really depressing...) but at the end of the day God has given me everything and waaaaaay more of what i deserve...Thank you for posting you just have absolutely no idea of how good this made me feel specially today...I kept thinking in my head that everyone around me looks just fine and I'm the only one falling apart here...God bless you and your wonderful family

Michelle Anderson said...

Hey Angel - Well, I'm learning to step out there in the world of blogging and learning to be transparent. I would say I'm pretty transparent about all my "stuff" and "stories" in everyday life with whomever, whenever, because I know we all wear masks and pretend we don't, and I know if I remove my mask with someone else, that helps give them permission to remove their mask. But it has been more challenging to me to do so via my blog site...so, I'm challenged and inspired. Thanks for the invitation to practice real authenticity and vulnerability in the WWW. Love, Michelle

Erin said...

This is SOOO great...you and I were definitely on the same wavelength last week. :) I got the link to your blog from the comment you left on my "Keeping it Real" post! Thanks for the encouragement! God Bless!

Darlene said...

Thank you for doing this. Oh, the body of Christ is getting real! I can see it out there. What a breath of fresh air. We are sooooo not perfect. We often wish we were, but we just are not. We DO have a perfect Savior. That is good enough for me. I really loved your most recent post about Getting Real, above. God has been calling me to the same sort of "getting real" stuff, and I have been posting about my own "True Confessions." hope you enjoy my confessions. Thanks for getting real.

Melissa said...

Okay, that was scary, but I did it! Thanks for the challenge. I have certainly been inspired by reading all of the other women's posts on getting real.

Mayme said...

Okay, I'm following in Melissa's steps and will do a list at a later date. I am presently on vacation, but after reading this I think it will be an eye opener to do my list.

Jennifer said...

I found your blog through the blog of a friend of a friend. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to reading more. Thanks for the challenge. I am inspired and look forward to rising to the challenge!
Thank you!

Jennifer

Jman's momma said...

I am so glad you made it where others could link to this with their post.

I hope this will work its way into our everyday lives and into the many churches where people feel they have to wear that church mask/happy face.

TheRagan3 said...

I'm not even sure how I found your blog but I was struckwith how pertinent your Get Real post was for what I have been feeling. I took you up on your challenge to keep it real - one that I really have a hard time with but I did it!
Thanks for the encouragment!
Erinn