Wednesday, March 26, 2008

How am I really doing with the wait?

I have been getting asked a lot. A very good question especially with my previous adoption waiting history. ;0) If you weren't a reader last time well JUST BE GRATEFUL! Ask anyone who was so unfortunate as to be my blogger buddy back then.(or heaven FORBID real LIFE friend- ACK) Come on guys you can comment. GO AHEAD! Bring IT ON! I know the truth and I embrace it freely. I was pathetic! I was a drooling, slobbering puddle of whiny goo.... an unkempt, half sane DISASTER. So could it REALLY BE that I am OK right now? Well.... here is the answer complete with goofy photos taken by Kaitlyn!

Here is the situation. Stick with me here cause this is a little complicated. Remember LOA means Letter of Acceptance. That is what we are waiting for from China. Once we get it Kaiya is legally OURS and we will travel in about 6 weeks!
There are only 2 people ahead of my group waiting for final approval from the Chinese government at our agency. These POOR people are at 100 days waiting today which STINKS! Remember you usually get it by or a tad after 90 days. So it feels a little like being 41 weeks prego. Not unheard of or strange just a little frustrating. So anyway, there are 4 of us behind them that are all at 78 days today. So the four of us are also well within the "could get the LOA" stage. Not only that- a friend of mine got her LOA yesterday (YAY!!!!) and she was at 76 days. BUT she wasn't with our agency which means she has a different reviewer which means that means NOTHING for us! Well, not nothing... it does mean the government is working and sending out LOAs this week. So that is good. Sooo anyway.... there is a possibility that when this next package comes it could have LOA's for all 6 of us. Since they are at 100 days it has to come any day now. RIGHT??? PLEASE!

BUT there is also a possibility that I won't be in this next packet at ALL. THAT is where it gets hard. Every week we have been expecting to hear and then I could just KNOW whether I am in this packet or not. AAAACKKKK!

It feels like it has to be this week but if it's not I will probably be in Africa when they hear which will be hard for me. Really I just want to know whether we are coming with this packet or NOT. The suspense is what is getting to me. I'll be fine either way but my curiosity is getting out of control. DEEEEEP BREATHS ANGEL! DEEEEP BREATHS!
So every time the phone rings I JUMP! I keep stalking the forum to see if these sweet ladies have gotten their LOAs cause I know they would call them first and then I would know that it was coming or just wasn't going to happen this time around. Anyway, so this is the most wound up I have felt the whole adoption. There are a lot of scenes where I am SCRAMBLING for my phone in dread that I will miss THE call. HA HA HA!! Anyway, last night one of the sweet ladies on my AWESOME forum asked me if I would really be OK if we didn't get in this packet. I just wanted to share my response with you since so many of you have wondered the same thing.
OH GOSH!! I'm no woman of steel. I will be a little bummed. Mostly I just learned the VERY hard way my first adoption that worrying and being upset doesn't change things one smidgen. It just steals the joy out of where I am.Whether or not I get LOA with you two I have an amazing life and I am so blessed. I know that the truth is that God has been caring for Kaiya long before I knew her and He is the one in control. I am working hard to give up my illusions of control and just treasure each moment. I have REALLY had so much fun this wait. I have two wonderful girls and I keep packing as much cuddle time and fun in with these two as I can before they have to share me with a fun little Kaiya!! Soooooo that's the long answer. I will be a little bummed but I will be overjoyed for you and at total peace that if Kaiya is ours God will bring her home because His heart longing for her to have a home is what moved my heart to adopt in the first place. He wants a home for these babies even more than I do. God rarely does things the way I would do them and l am usually so grateful for that EVENTUALLY! When God's will and mine coincide it's like a nice little bonus! Hee hee hee... ;0) So when you get that LOA I will shout for joy whether or not I am on the list this time. GEEZ!!! You have done your time for SURE!!! Please let it be tomorrow to "celebrate" 100 days. HA! HA!!
So that's where I am folks. That's where I am.... edgy but still pretty sane. There have been no tears or sleepless nights. It's more like sitting in a really suspenseful movie. You know something is about to happen- or is it? You are on the edge of your seat. The poor unfortunate soul next to you has claw marks in their arm. You are waiting, Waiting, WAITING...... TELL ME ALREADY!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT! JUST TELL ME!
That's where I am. Similar to the incident where I was stalking the mail man for my I 171-H but with a much more intricate and intriguing plot line. Will she REALLY be approved to adopt? Will there be a cat fight on the waiting child forum? Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen to see if Angel does IN FACT lose her mind..... DOH DOH DOH!!! ;0) Angel


Anonymous said...

you're cracking me up this morning,girl! I was laughing out loud at your take on where you're "at" these days...the pics were fun too! I hope the 100 Day Waiters hear news very soon and you do too! Hugs friend! DebbieT

Mandy said...

You have so much patience! I am on the edge of my seat waiting to find out when you will get LOA!

Tracey said...

Sounds so familiar!! I am glad that you are hanging in there. Waiting sucks, but the end result is INCREDIBLE! K will be home SOON, I just know it!! Love the pics...

Natalie C. said...

I'm glad to hear and see you are doing better this time around. Can't wait to hear your good news, very soon I hope!

Jenny said...

Angel....I'm so glad you're keeping your sense of humor! I'm proud of your must be soooo hard!!! I just have one question. You're weren't actually driving while those pics were taken...were you? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Keep on hangin in! Jenny

Reba said...

I for one am impressed. It seems like you are handling things SO much better. I wasn't with you for your whole journey the first time around, but I was for part of it. Of course, it didn't seem so insane, I was feeling so many of the same feelings! I did better on our second adoption, but there were still some days...Anyway, I am hoping and praying for good news for you!

Whitney said...

Praying for that LOA!! Fun post!

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm glad you are holding it together, but we are over here prayin' for you guys!!! Hope the LOA comes before you leave, only so that you can fully invest your heart in the experience, and not be wondering if the call came while you were away!!!
Many blessings...and may that call come SOON!!! I'm blog stalking!!

Candy said...

UMMMMM...Lets see WHICH ONE OF US WAS MORE INSANE the FIRST ADOPTION GO ROUND...that could be a CLOSE ONE...I do remember and I remember what a NUT CASE I was at the end. I hate to admit it but it is creeping back up on me again with this BC wait...BREATH BREATH...ENJOY our last days as a family of 3 and yours 4...ITS ABOUT TO BE A BRAND NEW LIFE for both of us...IN HIS TIME...Ho Hum

The Engelhardt 4 said...

You are a riot and Kaitlyn did an AWESOME job taking your pics. Can't wait to hear the news when it happens.

nikki said...

Oh the waiting is a killer. I remember stalking the forums, checking email and voicemail every 2 seconds. It is enough to make you legally insane.
Glad you are doing better this time. Praying your good news comes this week!!!

Misty said...

Even one day of waiting seems to long.....but hang in there!!!! I am glad you are doing better and she will be in your arms forever soon...oh what a joyous day that will be!! Best wishes on your upcoming trip....what a blessing and joy you are in lives of so many!! You are awesome!! :-)

Greta Jo said...

Keep Smiling Angel!

Sarah said...

YOu crack me up!! I think you are doing a great job breaking up the monotony with your humor!! Hoping you get that LOA very soon!!!!