Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pearl Neckace

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in an pink foil box. "Oh Mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?". Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box & then looked back in to the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face." A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you to do & in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthdays only a week away & you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma." As soon as Jenny got home she emptied her penny bank & counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores, went to the neighbor & asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill & at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up & grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet they might turn her neck green. Jenny had a very loving daddy. Every night when she was ready for bed he'd stop what he was doing & come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy. I love you.""Then give me your pearls." "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite." "That's okay, Honey, Daddy loves you. Good Night." He brushed her cheek with a kiss. About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She's beautiful & you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper." "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." As always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed in Indian style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling & one silent tear rolled down her cheek."What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. When she opened it there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy, this' for you." With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace & with the other hand he reached into his pocket & pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls & gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He's waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our life so that he can give us the beautiful treasures.
Author Unknown

Thanks to the McDonald Clan for sharing. What a beautiful story. http://myschatz.blogspot.com/

What is it in your life that you are holding back from God? What do you not want to give up? Your money...your fear...your anger? Don't miss out on the real treasure to hold onto that.
Angel :0)

Debt vs Feeding the hungry

I found this post on this blog...http://www.xanga.com/kaminablue I thought she had some great things to say and asked permission to swipe it! :0) Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. It's great food for thought. By the way...did you know that many American families pay more than $1,000.00 in interest for their credit card debt? Just imagine if all those families paid off that debt. They would automatically have $1,000.00 they could give to charity. That's JUST the interest too. Then you have no payments and could use that to save for future purchases. What a freedom that is. Look at the golden hand cuffs that our nation wears. It makes you think. Anyway, ENJOY!

This paragraph is taken from this article:
http://www.cardweb.com/cardtrak/pastissues/dec99.html


During the 29 day period between the holidays, Americans will swipe their credit cards more than 1.6 billion times, charging an average of $3.7 billion in purchases per day or $156 million each hour. For the peak shopping days of Nov 26, Nov 27 and Dec 24, consumers will use their credit cards more than 7,000 times per second generating charges of nearly $500,000 per second.


If Americans are charging on credit cards an average of 3.7 billion a day for the 29 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas that totals 107.3 billion dollars!


With the UN estimating there are 850,000,000 hungry people in the world, and assuming we could feed them for $8 a day (that is what the average American spends per day on food) it would cost $6,800,000,000 to feed the hungry people in the world for a day. With what Americans spend in those 29 days we could feed all the hungry people in the world for 16 days! That is only during the U.S. holiday season!(http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D02E7DB1231F93BA35751C1A9629C8B63&sec=health)

There are 301,139,947 people in America (http://www.nationmaster.com/country/us-united-states)

with an average of $8,562 in credit card debt (http://ask.yahoo.com/20040209.html).

That is $2,578,360,226,214 total in credit card debt! At $8 a day with 850,000,000 hungry people it would take $2,482,000,000,000 to feed them for the entire year!
If I am using fairly accurate numbers we could feed all the hungry people in the world for a year with the amount of money Americans owe in credit card debt, with some money to spare (about 96 billion!).

This begs the question, are we being good stewards with our money in America? Is instant satisfaction for that huge big screen TV, or the latest clothing trends, or that vacation worth it? Is putting things on a credit card because you can get it today worth it? Could we get Americans to start thinking differently?


Every time someone charges $8 for an item they "just have to have today" they could have fed a person for that entire day.

See how rich you are compared to the world! Click here http://www.globalrichlist.com/index.php.

Take a look at Charity Navigator http://www.charitynavigator.org/. Find a charity that has proven itself to be good stewards with their donations and help someone.

GOOD STUFF!!!! :0) Angel

Saturday, July 28, 2007

HAIRSPRAY!!!!



WOW! What an amazing movie. We just went to see it as a family and all agree we will be buying it. Zoe said it is BETTER than Highschool Musical! Can you believe that??? Thanks to my Guatamomma friend Valerie for encouraging me to get off my tushy and go see it. This movie has everything. It is funny and incredibly well made. Most of all it has a message that made me want to get up and cheer. All of my "red" readers will just LOOOOVE it. Well, what are you doing still reading??? Go see it! Hee hee... just kidding. Love to all my bloggy buddies.

PS There are a few cuss words and mild sexual references. It's nothing my kids don't hear walking through the mall but I thought I should give you fair warning. :0)

Friday, July 27, 2007

A red pill kind of challenge

My friend Jocelyn needs help. She is a single young lady bringing home an amazing little boy from Liberia. It was not Jocelyn's initial plan to adopt as a single momma. HOWEVER, God has bigger plans. This amazing little man, Isaac needs medical attention fast and waited for a family for awhile. Jocelyn is a red pill kind of girl. She heard God whispering that this was her kid and she WENT FOR IT! Was she scared? YEP! You betcha. The best things in life are terrifying. Isaac's case has been rushed due to medical need. This is truly a miracle and I am so grateful that he is coming home in less than four weeks. He will get the medical attention he needs and the loving mommy he deserves very quickly! That's the good news. The bad news is that Jocelyn has had only five months to scrape together money for the whole adoption. She has done pretty durn good! She has $8,000 that needs to be covered.



So consider taking my red pill challenge for the day.... don't order pizza- give the money to Jocelyn, don't go shopping for a new book- give that money to Isaac, skip the Starbucks today- help Isaac come home, Turn the air conditioner up a few degrees and give a few bucks to Jocelyn and Isaac today.


IT'S EASY! You just push a button on her site and pay through pay pal. Trust me- easy as pie.



Here is her blog. Read it from beginning to end sometime. It's better than the book you could have bought with the money you'll give. http://bringingisaachome.blogspot.com/



I know it's hard to look at this picture of sweet Isaac. I hurt when I see it. Just imagine how it FEELS. He has lived with this condition for years. Help Jocelyn take care of this sweet boy.


We can do more than save just one life if we are in this together. I'm ready to change the world. :0) Hugs to My Red Pill Blogger Buddies, Angel

PS Would you leave my buddy Jocelyn a comment to let her no she's not alone in this thing? Feel very FREE to spread the word to people! ;0)You people are awesome.

Here's the long winded adoption update.


I know it's long. Sorry! There is a lot going on in this crazy brain of mine!

So here is what's been going on lately.... I've been researching African adoption!

I thought we had it all figured out. Remember how we had our next adoption all figured out? We were going to do an African American domestic adoption. We were all started and everything. It's an awesome plan. There is a great need for people to adopt minority infants in the US. I had no idea until last year that this was the case. You get a little bitty healthy baby. It is less stressful and costly than working with another country because of the inter country issues. Our adoption laws in Texas are stellar from what I hear and the agency we would work with is amazing. They truly have a heart to help and are extremely ethical. I desperately want people to know about the need to adopt AA and bi-racial babies domestically. I thought, "Why wouldn't we do this???" I sent in the paperwork. THEN I couldn't do it.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT! At first I thought I wasn't quite ready... which I wasn't. I know we needed a break. BUT it was more than that too.


You may have noticed I've been really quiet about it here. I didn't know what to say. Were we going to do it? Were we stopping... paused.... and WHY? I just couldn't write it down somehow. A lot of my thoughts are muddled and weird. Some of them are downright selfish and I am ashamed to write them down. Some of them might offend people so I've kept them to myself. BUT I am done with the self-censoring. I guess I've given fair warning. Stop reading now if your a blue pill kind of person. :0)

So anyway, I have been wrestling with it and researching like crazy. I started second guessing everything. It is such a difficult thing for me because I have a passion to help Africa. I feel like there is a little piece of my heart there already. Russ and I are actually developing long term plans to have a ministry involving Africa. So I kept thinking- how can I NOT adopt from there?? It's also a little bit selfish cause we really feel that we want to do the baby thing one more time but I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the BRAND new baby thing. It's just that the first 6 months is A LOT of work and I'm spoiled now. See! SELFISH! Also in my mind the next adoption would be a boy since we have two girls and the agency we would use for domestic does not allow you to choose gender. SEE! SELFISH AGAIN! Plus, adoption from Africa seems so much more life and death for the children. I mean they have nothing. There are such amazing ministries and families adopting from Africa. I am so grateful to see the work people are doing there. I can hardly hardly wait to be a part of that.

On the other hand-children in the US have a social welfare system to fall back on. If they don't have a home they have some sort of protection. Then again... what kind of life is it to be bounced from one foster home to the next- knowing you aren't wanted because your skin is different? It makes me want to hurl. Is that really much better than living in poverty?

I also feel very strongly that Christians need to practice what we preach. I find it hypocritical to say that I am pro-life if I am unwilling to adopt a child that is placed for adoption. What are the options in our still prejudiced society? Should a young lady have a baby that she can't afford and is not ready to raise? Should she give up a baby not knowing whether the baby will find a great loving family or will end up shuffled into a faulty foster care system? Should she abort the baby?

I know of three wonderful, reputable domestic adoption agencies right now that have NO families willing to adopt African American healthy babies. This is in Texas with our strict adoption laws. My social worker has witnessed families wait for ten plus years for a Caucasian baby while healthy African American babies were put in foster homes. So how can we have a leg to stand on in saying we are pro-life when we won't open our hearts and our homes? Did you know that Canadians regularly come and adopt African American children from the United States because American families won't?!? Do you feel nauseous or is it just me?


I am ASHAMED of us. Truly I am. It is not enough to say I want things to change. I have to BE the change...start the change. It's not enough to say that skin color isn't what is important about a person. I need to live that truth!

I am so deeply proud of the families out there who are daring to cross the interracial boundaries. THANK YOU! I truly believe that you are beginning the realization of Martin Luther's dream...

"I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."

I think it's beautiful.

So I know this all might sound a little bit disjointed but frankly, that's what my thought process has been like. It's been really good though. I am learning so much about Africa and the adoption systems in place. I am learning a lot about myself- good and bad! I have met some amazing new blogger buddies too.

After wrestling with it all and getting some wise counsel from one of my fabulous adoptive mommy friends (thanks Amy) I think we have landed on what to do. It's so funny because a few months ago I encouraged Amy not to limit God in what He can do in her life and when He might do it. She took that advise and God is doing such cool things in her family. She is the BOMB and a true role model to me!

So the other day I was talking to her and spilling my guts about this struggle. She reminded me that I needed to listen to the very words I told her. I was feeling torn because I was saying that THIS was my chance to adopt from Africa even though in my heart I think we should go with AA domestic. She asked me why we couldn't adopt from Africa later down the road. HUH??? What a revelation right???

It seems so simple but I was just limiting myself to what I can see. It seems so silly to me that it didn't occur to me as an option. I don't know how to explain that... I am still learning to open my brain to all God has for me. I am still learning to take the visions I have for the future and be patient until it's the right time.

I shared everything with my awesome hubby. We talked and prayed and thought. We both agree that we think domestic adoption is where we need to be this time but African adoption is down the road. I thought Russ might be disappointed at the thought of maybe not having a boy. He said he adores his little girls and would love another one. How precious is this man? So we are putting it in God's hands. He will bring us our next one just like He brought us our last two. Look how cool they are! He's obviously very good at this.

Plus, I figure there is a good chance we will end up with a little boy from Africa one of these days. Generally, more people request girls in overseas adoption. Many waiting children are boys. So there you go.. maybe that's why part of my heart's in Africa. I guess we will see.

So here is the current plan- Lord willing. We will wait until January to get really into anything. I'll just get the basics done. We will dive into a domestic adoption process full force in January. The hope is that we will bring a baby home summer or fall of 2008.

WOOOOHOOOOO! I feel so much better. I am getting so excited. I think I just needed to process it all and figure out where we are supposed to be headed. Now that I have a direction I feel great. Well, what do you think?

To read more about our agency you can link here to our previous entry...
http://thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-are-getting-soooo-excited.html

HUGS! Angel

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Beautiful- think about it...

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Diva KK


The other day I made Kaitlyn a green salad with chicken and raisins on it. When I handed it to her she immediately got angry at me and started crying. I asked her why she was so upset and she said, "MOMMY! I want my salad HOT." Hot salad? I tried to explain to her that lettuce was not that good heated. She ate it cold but she didn't seem too happy about it! Four year olds- go figure! She just makes me giggle every day. :0) Angel

Monday, July 23, 2007

Welcome to the real world...



The red pill. Are you ready to take it? Do you want to know the truth? No really... take a second. Do you REALLY want to know the truth? The truth will challenge you. The truth will make you angry. The truth will make you weep. The truth will challenge you to become more than you thought you could be- more than you wanted to be. The truth will set you free.... but do you WANT to be free? Do you really WANT to be free?



We live in a nation of people trapped in their own reality. We are bound by golden handcuffs and caught in a dream world. We live in a metaphorical "matrix." The vast majority of people would rather not be free. The vast majority will choose the blue pill. Most of us want to stay in the dream. The reality is too harsh. We would rather ignore the scars and misery all around us and just grasp after happiness.

That little voice inside of us tells us there is more for us. Something deep inside us longs for something deeper and more meaningful. Our lives were meant to be so much more than comfortable. Our lives were meant to be radical. If we all chose truth this world would change. Orphans would find homes, diseases would be wiped out, widows would be loved, genocide would be ended.... yet here we are.

So I am asking you... I am inviting you to take the pill. Do you want it? Do you want to live the dream or would you rather change the world? All I am offering is the truth... red or blue... what will it be?


Welcome to Wonderland. Let's see just how far the rabbit hole goes.

Who's with me? Angel

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Well, you asked for it!!! :0)

I found this on Jocelyn's blog. I think it is really good. One thing I learned during our adoption process is that we are extremely wealthy. I never knew we were. I used to go to Mexico and tell Russ how strange it was that all these people think we are rich. Well, I have news for you. YOU ARE RICH! Are you reading this post on a computer while you sit in a cushy computer chair or on your couch with a roof over your head and a food in your belly? Then you are RICH!

The following article explains what it is like to live in a third world country. Being in the cushy circumstances we are in... it is difficult to fathom what it is like to live in most of the world. Sometimes when Zoe explains her old life to me she shakes her head and laughs. She says it's so strange. Even now it's hard for her to believe that is what life is like.

If you think this is an exageration just ask my little Guataprincess. It's not...

1. Take the furniture out of your house: leave a few old blankets, a kitchen table, maybe a wooden chair. You've never even had a bed, remember?

2. Throw out your clothes. Each person in the family may keep the oldest suit or dress, and one shirt or blouse. The head of the family has the only pair of shoes.

3. All kitchen appliances have vanished. Keep a box of matches, a small bag of flour, some sugar and salt, a handful of onions, a dish of dried beans. Rescue those moldy potatoes from the garbage can: those are tonight's meal.

4. Dismantle the bathroom, shut off the running water, take out the wiring and the lights and everything that runs by electricity.

5. Take away the house and move the family into the tool shed.

6. By now all the other houses in the neighborhood have disappeared; instead there are shanties - for the fortunate ones.

7. Cancel all the newspapers and magazines. Throw out the books. You won't miss them - you are now illiterate. One radio is now left for the whole shantytown.

8. No more postman, fireman, government services. The two- classroom school is 3 miles away, but only 2 of your 7 children attend anyway, and they walk.

9. No hospital, no doctor. The nearest clinic is now 10 miles away with a midwife in charge. You get there by bus or bicycle, if you're lucky enough to have one.

10, Throw out your bankbooks, stock certificates, pension plans, insurance policies. You now have a cash hoard of $5.

11. Get out and start cultivating your three acres. Try hard to raise $300 in cash crops because your landlord wants one-third and your moneylender 10 percent.

12. Find some way for your children to bring in a little extra money so you have something to eat most days. But it won't be enough to keep bodies healthy - so lop off 25 to 30 years of life.

THIS is what life is like for MOST of the world. While I sit on my chubby tushy talking about how STRESSED OUT I am. I NEED Starbuck's cause I'm so tired. That coffee cost more than what most people live on in a DAY!

Ohhhh... my house is getting too old or small. My back is sore from sleeping on that durn bed. I really NEED one of those matresses that conforms to my back.

BLEECHHHH! I just wanna barf! What is wrong with me?

Here is what the Bible has to say about it

1 Timothy 6:6-12

Now godliness combined with contentment brings great profit. For we have brought nothing into this world and so we cannot take a single thing out either. But if we have food and shelter, we will be satisfied with that. Those who long to be rich, however, stumble into temptation and a trap and many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all evils. Some people in reaching for it have strayed from the faith and stabbed themselves with many pains.

But you, as a person dedicated to God, keep away from all that. Instead pursue righteousness, godliness, faithfulness, love, endurance, and gentleness. Compete well for the faith and lay hold of that eternal life you were called...



WOW! Notice please that it says the LOVE of money... The bible says NOTHING about money being evil. To the contrary- the bible says wealth is a blessing. It's when we LOVE our wealth that we stumble. It's when we are NOT CONTENT that we stumble. BUT IF WE HAVE FOOD AND SHELTER, LET US BE CONTENT WITH THAT!!!!! CONTENT!

con·tent 2
adj.
1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied
.

When I LOVE my money I want MORE MORE MORE!!!! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEE!!!! GIMMEEE GIMMMEEEE GIMMMEEEE! YUCK! I disgust myself.



Right now there are 2.5 MILLION people that are homeless in and around Darfur. BUT.... I don't want to give up my clothes allowance to give cause' you know I really NEED another shirt. GEEEE WHILLIKERS I ONLY HAVE 30 SHIRTS! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ONE!

GIVE ME A BREAK! GAG.

What does it mean to LOVE money? Well, here are some definitions of love...

love: Noun

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.

The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.

verb.
To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.

To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming.

To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.

An intense emotional attachment to something.... I like that one. Do I have an intense emotional attachment to money? Would I throw a fit if I didn't have as much money as I wanted?

There's nothing WRONG with money. There is something WRONG with me. AND PLEASE don't tell me it's okay to want nice things. I might gag. I'm not saying we should all live like paupers and sell everything. You've seen my house and life. We aren't in NEED by any stretch. I live a wonderful, comfortable life. Most people in the world would say I live in the lap of luxury. They would be right. I DO! I am so grateful for the blessings God has given me. BUT I AM SO DONE LOVING MONEY!

What would happen if everyone who reads this blog QUIT loving money? It would change the world. Maybe you think that's crazy but it's not. We all have a LOT of money. Hopefully you see that. If we all truly quit loving it we wouldn't need to keep so much of it for ourselves. We could think outside ourselves and the STUFF we want. If we didn't love stuff so much then feeding orphans in Darfur would be more appealing than a new skirt. Helping a poor, single widow in Columbia start a business to support her family would sound better than buying a new leather chair. Maybe we would dig a well for a village in Africa instead of getting the big screen TV. Maybe we would adopt a child instead of getting the new car this year.

If we quit loving money it would change everything. I think I'm ready. Are you?

Here's what's going on outside our bubble. Let's do something!

Please don't let young children watch this video but please take the time to watch it.... this is what's happening TODAY. It made me weep.




...once our eyes are opened

...once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.(message taken from Proverbs 24:12)



"President Bush, we urge you to implement a
NATO enforced No-Fly Zone over Darfur."
Sign the Petition!
We respect your privacy. LifeNets.net will not rent, sell, or share your information with third party vendors. We will keep you updated with advocacy alerts. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Get the CodeEmail your FriendsLearn More

ROAD TRIP!

I have SOOOOO many wonderful pictures from our road trip that I had trouble getting them all posted. So I whipped up a slide show for you! Hope you like it. I'll still try to post pics along the way but it may take awhile. On this slide show is.... Disney World, our trip to visit Zoe's foster sister Lidia, visiting the McKenzie Crew and my SOUL SISTA Julia :0), going to Washington DC and Gatlinburg, Tennessee!!! We had a great time. What a wonderful experience! ENJOY!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Self censoring

For some reason the tone of my blog changed a little this past 6 months. I've gone a little shallow with what I share. I haven't known exactly why but I have been censoring myself more. Maybe part of it is that the amount of people that read the blog has increased a lot. I think I feel more self conscious about it. I'm not saying that it's bad. It's flattering and really amazing that people care enough to read. It just feels more intimidating.

Also, since Zoe came home she has shared so many things with us about her life before. I am very careful about what I share. I don't want her to feel like I violated her trust or privacy. So I wait until she makes things public knowledge before sharing them as such. So there are those things I can't write about.

Then there is my deep fear of criticism. YES! I have issues. I am really working on this and it has improved. Last year my deep blogs were about this crazy inner struggle related to the adoption.

First off... I was so at the end of myself last year that I didn't give a flying FLIP what anybody thought about me. Plus mean people are less critical when you are miserable! It's the happy people they can't stand. :0) I have watched some of my great blogger friends get harassed and trolled for no particular reason. I don't know why people would read blogs they don't like. Why not just leave? What purpose does it serve to stick around and be abusive?

Truly I have not had a problem myself. I have the coolest blogger buddies in the world. BUT I always wonder what would happen if you all REALLY knew what I thought.

So I guess I have gotten scared to open my mouth about what is really going on in this heart and mind of mine. The truth is it's been HUGE! I feel like I am changing and growing at a crazy pace. Trouble is.... the stuff I am discovering about myself is that I am well.... very DIFFERENT from many people I know.

I see things differently than I used to see them. I have been figuring out a little more of who I want to be and what I want my life to look like. The things I want will rock the boat. My opinions are different than most of our society. 5 years ago the things I believe and want to do would have surprised ME!

So I guess I haven't been ready to put it all out there yet.

I guess the thing is though... I don't want this to be the "here are my pretty pictures blog." This is ME and MY BLOG. I think it's kinda pathetic that I am scared to say what I want to say on my own blog. Seriously! Get a back bone WOMAN! How can you make a difference if you walk afraid.

SOOOOO... I have made a decision. There will be less censoring on this blog. Please! If you don't like it don't feel the need to comment. Just don't come back. It won't hurt my feelings. Trust me... there are lots of blogs I don't read. They just aren't my thing.

This will be a great opportunity for me to GET REAL and stop being such a freakish WIMP!
:0) Angel

For Jocelyn and Isaac

I thought you might want to see this video friend. It is bizarre how appropriate it is. You are adding years to that timer for Isaac. YEARS! He in exchange will add such joy and meaning to the years God has given you.

Friends, if you would like to meet a truly remarkable pair of people go visit my new friend's blog and give her some support. http://bringingisaachome.blogspot.com/ Last night I read her blog... YES the whole thing. It is an amazing story. I cried about 5 times. I encourage you to read it and pray for Isaac.

Look at this little angel. God has something big for this Liberian prince. No doubt about it. Jocelyn, I don't doubt it for one little second. You are on the right path even on the hard days. Remember when it gets scary that difficult does not equal wrong. On the contrary... the best things we will ever do in life will most likely be the most difficult. You are doing one of the best things you will EVER do RIGHT NOW!
Hugs to you brave blogger buddy. Angel





Prison gates won't open up for me On these hands and knees I'm crawlin' Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls These iron bars can't hold my soul in All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'And oh I scream for you Hurry I'm fallin'


Show me what it's like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it to me And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me


Heaven's gates won't open up for me With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you These city walls ain't got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story


And oh I scream for you Come please I'm callin' And all I need from you Hurry I'm fallin'


Show me what it's like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it to me And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Monday, July 16, 2007

To adopt or not to adopt....

Is it time to start the process? Is it NOT time? Domestic or international? Boy or girl? Baby, toddler or older child? When you are having bio babies the question is pretty much, "Do we want to have more?" If the answer is yes you better get going cause the clock is ticking. With adoption the options are not as clear cut.

I LOVE having the flexibility for sure. It does make for some grand feelings of insecurity though. What should we do? What if I get it wrong? Am I being selfish or logical? Am I walking in faith or jumping in without thinking?

I mean we can go all the way from adopt an infant now or wait ten years and adopt a sibling set who are a little older. There are NO limits. The hard part is that I am ALL OVER THE MAP! One day I want to start an adoption. The next day I am like NO WAY! Life is pretty great right now. My girls are so awesome. They are now getting pretty self sufficient and life is getting easier. It's hard to imagine starting over with a baby again.

Then again.... a BABY! Awww they are such precious little blessings. Barfing, drooling, crying blessings!!!!!!!!!! AAAACCCCKKK! I've gotten used to sleeping and I feel like Russ and I are doing great. WHY would I want to add that stress? Then again.... we both WANT more kids. I LOOOOOVE the toddler stage and I KNOW I want to do that again. This is pretty much what my brain is like these days. Hard to keep up with huh?

No wonder I feel so tired.

Angel

Can't seem to get it together.

Thursday I had to make a run to grandma's in Central TX. It was supposed to be a one nighter thing. Then Kaitlyn started blowing chunks. Yes, I know... it's not a pretty picture. Russ ended up driving down there and we spent the weekend so we wouldn't have to put our poor barfy princess in the car. So finally we get back yesterday and now I feel CRUDDY. I finally took my temperature and I have a fever. I feel absolutely wiped out and frustrated that I can't seem to get it together. I say all this to tell you why I no longer seem to blog... Hee hee :0) Angel

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

Have you guys read this yet? I haven't but I am going to first chance I get. Carol tells me it is a must read. Here is an interview from the author I thought you would enjoy.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Road Trip Phase Two- Animal Kingdom


We hit the Animal Kingdom for one morning and then hopped over to the Magic Kingdom.
We are ready! It's a jungle in there!!!M. Susan got to hang with us for awhile.

Awww... aren't they cute?

We even got to go on safari with our new buddy.

I have been on this safari a lot and this was the best time ever.

The animals were EVERYWHERE!!!

M. Susan was the best guide ever and was cracking us up the entire time.

If you go to the Animal Kingdom (and you should! :0) make sure you take the safari as early as you can because the animals are out a lot more.

It's lots of fun.
The girls were just captivated. Everywhere you looked there was some amazing animal to see.


Then of course you have to see the Lion King show.


Or the Lion KingDOM show as KK calls it.

This show is just wonderful. I love it everytime. The first time we went it was outside. HOTTTT!! Now it's indoor. WAY BETTER.

Zoe was in absolute awe of this show. There are lights and acrobats and dancers everywhere.
These expressions are what I love most about being a mom. I love seeing that wide eyed joy and excitement about life.
Zoe sat right up front! She LOVES the action.
Here are some street performers at Disney. They were unbelievable!
Look at him go! And the answer is yes... he DID fit his whole body through that little tube.
It was just SO COOL! I spend half my time at Disney World with my mouth gaping open in pure amazement. I LOVE THIS PLACE!
This is Zoe with the acrobats attempting her first peace sign. It didn't go so well. Hee hee.... TOO CUTE! :0)

Cutie Patootie

Just hanging out...

Being sweet to Polka Dot.

It was a great (although very HOT) morning at the Animal Kingdom.


Time to head to the Magic Kingdom.
we are on our way..

I THINK I SEE THE CASTLE!!!!

More Later, Angel

Monday, July 09, 2007

Road Trip- Phase One- EPCOT!


The first day we settled in and swam.

My mom was able to use her time share. It was awesome.
The next day we just drove up to Disney World!
When the girls realized where we were going they got VERY excited!

WOOOOHOOOO! If you haven't checked out the video of KK's celebration dance you really need to see it. It's a couple of blog posts down.


SOOOOOOO HAPPY! The tickets to Disney were Kaitlyn's 4th birthday present. Happy birthday baby!
Here is the crew.... me,Kaitlyn,my mom, Zoe, Tia Bek (our adopted Auntie and mom's best friend), and M Susan(behind me). M Susan works at Disney World. How cool is that?? She got to hang with us some. She is SUPER sweet!

Just a little snack while we wait.

Give me some love.

Awww....YEAH! PUCKER UP GIRL! Getting ready for Mickey! :0)


My sweet little 4 year old.
Have an apple.
Catching a little cat nap. All that Disney excitement can wear you out.

Tia Bek bought Zoe a matching hat. Zoe is VERY proud of that.

Just checking out our awesome pictures.

Two peas in a pod.

Me and my beautiful Zoe.

Measuring to see if Kaitlyn is big enough for the "Soaring" ride. This is now her favorite ride.

She was JUST tall enough and SOOOOO proud to be so big now. After all she IS FOUR!

Disney even has Mickey shaped pumpkins! How cool is that?

Do pumpkins grow on trees? HERE THEY DO!

Twinkies...

Taking a boat ride.
Zoe with her Polka Dot.
This is the Disney hat that KK picked out. I was hoping she would pick one a little more versatile and practical but she KNEW this was the right one for her. I think she was right. It IS ALL her.

Watch out! I CAN be dangerous....
Of course I have my goofy side too! Hee hee.... GET IT? GOOFY!!!! :0)

This is Kaitlyn tasting drinks at the Cool Zone. I think that is what it was called. You could go taste sodas from all over the world. It was really fun!
A lot of the drinks were actually very yummy. Tia Bek and M Susan decided to see how they would taste if you mixed them ALL together. Ahhhh... nice.
The response was not favorable.
We can't recommend that particular drink. Some tastes just aren't meant to go together.

Polka Dot and KK
Just goofin around
OH MY GOSH! IT'S MINNIE MOUSE!

Kaitlyn is ecstatic. Look at that face!
Hugging Minnie.
Chip and Dale. What great guys.
Life is good for the dynamic duo.
Smoochin' goofy! That big hunk!
Just lovin' this guy.
A VERY happy little girl.
Getting smooches from Mickey. SO FUN!

We love you MICKEY!
Under the sea on the Nemo ride.
We stopped by Mexico for awhile and GUESS what was there!!!!
THAT'S RIGHT! A fabulous mariachi band. They were spectacular.
They called Zoe to come stand with them while they played. She was absolutely giddy!
Look at that face! Priceless!
This is her listening to the music.

Something happens to that girl when she hears that Latin music.

She was adorable!
That music is IN HER SOUL! I LOOOOOVE IT!
I couldn't quit taking pictures. Have you ever seen something so precious? We gotta find a place around here that plays live mariachi music.
How do we look?
My little mariachi lover. I adore this kid.

PLAY IT!
Princess Minnie Mouse...

My Guataprincess.
Lookin' GOOD!
See ya!!!! MORE LATER!!!! Tata for now...
Hugs, Angel