Monday, December 31, 2007

Feeling Wiped Out


I am not sure exactly what is going on with me. I feel pretty wiped out emotionally and physically. I think I have been running on adrenaline off and on since we started the adoption in October. Halloween, Mission trip, home study, dossier prep, home school, volunteering, Thanksgiving, Russ' birthday, a couple of bouts of sickness, numerous Christmas celebrations... Plus Russ says I always get like this at this time of year. I do better with warmth and sun. When it gets cold and dark I just wanna curl up under the covers with my hot tea or chocolate.
So anyway, now that the dossier is mailed off and the holidays are over I feel zonked. I don't want to think or move. I sure don't want to cook or work out. The last couple of nights I couldn't sleep. I just laid there trying to figure out why I feel so sad. It doesn't REALLY make sense to me. Everything is fine.
I feel like I am doing pretty well so far with the adoption. I mean sure I feel sad when I ponder my baby girl in an orphanage on Christmas but I am trusting and looking forward. The situation with the orphans in Guatemala weighs on my heart but no more than the plight of these children always does. So I don't think that is it. It's not that lovely time of month so I can't blame it on hormones. Hee hee hee.. and NO I am not prego. I've been sleeping enough. Well, I have been eating more crud with the holidays so I am sure that doesn't help. ;0) I have unfortunately put on about 4 or 5 pounds of extra insulation these last 2 months. UGH!
I don't want to sound like a whiny baby. I am just trying to keep it real on this blog. I don't want to sound like things are always perfect and rosy around here. I'm no superman. It's just where I am. I am worn a little thin at the moment. Hopefully I just need some chill time and I will bounce back in a few days. So in honor of my current state of blah here is a song that describes how I feel. I thought about making a cute little video with this song but then I thought NAHHHH! Hee hee hee... So this will have to do for now. Hugs, BLAH BLAH Angel


The McKenzie Crew said...

after our chat the other night via email, - why didn't you call this Julia and Angel's post;)

Struggling myslef - ya know I am - but I think I am gonna try meds for a few weeks and see if it snaps me out of it:)

glad we have this loving family to lean on in blog world - how bout you???

Love you darlin and i am here if you need me Sis-



Mindy said...

Happy New Year, Angel! Love ya, sister!

You're totally entitled to some blah down time. You can't be perpetually flying without getting tired once in a while.


Amy said...

Hey Angel- just sending you a big hug like you always do for me when I need one. I'm kind of with you right now- worn out, exhausted, and just ready for some rest. What really sounds good is one of your days at the beach! That always helps! Anyway- hope you are feeling back to your old self soon- and just think before you know it Kaiya will be home!! (((HUGS))) Amy

Kim said...

I'm actually not surprised at all! You've had quite a fall - and it will catch up with you.

Take some time - and curl up with that hot chocolate. You've done what you can for Kaiya so you deserve to rest for now!!


Reba said...

I can so identify with what you said. I am glad you aren't afraid to be "real" though. Sometimes on my blog I am afraid I am too real, but sometimes the blahs come with the joys...I am hoping you can rest in Him. Think Psalm 23.

Dimple Queen said...

Hey, both kids are in ski school today so I am using a friends laptop to do some catching up! Just reading through yours right now and wanted you to know I LOVE that you put the "real stuff" on here. I use to have this crazy idea that I was the ONLY person around me that felt this way at times "for no known reason". Thank you for being so real!

As for your little Kaiya....I am SO excited for you and I am praying for you all. I'll continue to pray that the Lord give you just what you need to make it through this adoption!

God bless you and happy new year!