Friday, October 26, 2007

Dear Anonymous J...

First, before my rant begins I would like to say how AWESOME my blogger buddies are. You people are amazing. I have had so FEW incidents of meany comments it's amazing. I mean if you are doing something different your GONNA get blasted sometimes right?? Shoot... I figure if NOBODY is ticked off at me then I must be doing something REALLY wrong cause we live in a messed up world. :0) If nobody is upset with me I must be just ORDINARY and BORING- the status quo. BLECH! HEAVEN FORBID that EVER happen. Seriously. I don't mind making a few waves now and then. BUT I do believe in kindness, respect and restraint. I refuse to publish comments that do not follow those guidelines.

I just received an anonymous comment which I will not publish because - well it was unproductive and mean. It compared our adoption of Zoe to getting a great real estate deal at someone else's expense....

However, I do want to address it....There are many factors that went into Zoe's adoption. Many of these I may NEVER discuss publicly because they are HER personal life and not mine. The things I discuss openly on this blog are only the things she has given me leave to discuss. I respect her privacy.

I think it is sad to go on someone's blog and read a tiny bit of a story and think you can judge whether that person has truly adopted a child in need or swindled someone out of "real estate." The truth is that I have let you in on a tiny bit of our hearts and you have assumed things you can't possibly know.

I have never told you what Zoe's life was like before the mud slides. Children who are not physically orphaned can come from many circumstances. I have not told you what her birth mother or birth father were like. Frankly you don't know if she really knew them at all. You don't know if she ate like a pig daily or starved for days on end. You don't know if she had a big fluffy bed or she slept on the ground with snakes. You don't know if she was hugged and cuddled daily or hit daily. You don't know if she had clothes or was naked. You don't know if she was safe and cared for or fended for herself. You know the final straw.... the mud slide... and you assume you now know the situation.

You didn't ask if we considered all this. You didn't ponder that I may have cried many nights as we went through the process for her Guatemala mother wondering what we could do. You don't know whether we requested permission to support her Guatemala mommy. You don't know whether or not we have contact with her Guatemala mommy. You don't know that Zoe is scared to even go visit Guatemala.

It just bothers me that you took something closest to my heart- adopting my children and reduced it to a real estate deal. This is my heart and soul.

This is NOT something we take lightly. My daughter knows she belongs with us. Her birth mother was protecting her in more ways than you will ever comprehend when she placed her in foster care. Giving Zoe up was heroic and absolutely right. I respect her immensely. There is nothing simple or pretty about it but it's love all around.


Please know that when you read this blog you see a tiny part of who we are. It's just a glimpse. We are not inviting your judgement. We are just sharing our hearts. If you leave a rude comment I will NOT publish it. PERIOD! This blog is about encouraging each other and lifting each other up. Feel free to ask honest questions. DO NOT feel free to compare my children with swindled real estate. I go all "mamma bear." I just can't help it.

OK. Now I feel better. :0) Nighty night all. Hugs! Angel

21 comments:

The McKenzie Crew said...

Sweetie - you know that anyone that has ever met you and your family - spent TIME with you and talked to you on the phone - they adore you and each of your children. You are amazing person and you are a world changer!!!!!
Jealousy is a nasty thing. People that cannot be the changes that they want to see in the world - they are miserable. I think that 99.9% of the negative comments you and I both get are from weak people- too weak to do some of the things we do and will do in the future. They are unable to be bold and confident enough in who they are in Christ Jesus to step out in faith and actually live out the dreams that God placed within them.

We are the minority - and just like some other minorities - we are different and that scares weak people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU for being the Mamma bear God Created You To BE!

I know - I have seen - I have heard the giggles and sounds of love from your family first hand...God created Zoe to BE with you and to be YOUR family. Just as he did Kaitlyn and Kaiya;0

I love you Sis

Julia:)

Anonymous said...

Ok...YOU GO GIRL!!!~! What can I say except that your reply to this unfair comment is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON!
I am sorry that he/she? has nothing else to do except judge (and possibly be jealous) of a situation that they really know "NOTHING" about. It is a GOOD thing that your judge is God...and I am confident that God has placed His stamp/ring of approval on the process of your adoption of Zoe. Thank you for your reply to your comment person and others like them. Polkadot

danielle said...

Angel,
I am so sorry that someone has judged you for adopting Zoe! I tell people about you guys all the time and how wonderful it is that you have adopted a precious child into your home and now you are going to do it again! I know that you and Russ have not jumped into anything without prayer and careful consideration!

ManyBlessings said...

Nothing to add. Just wanted to say you are SO right.
d

Natalie C. said...

You go girl!

Amazing what people think of when they see our children. No, we don't know all the circumstances that Zoe had to endure but we do know she loves ya'll and ya'll love her. That's made known in your pictures and the way you all look at each other. Nothing else really matters. And yo have been truley blessed with amazing children and your children have been truley blessed with amazing parents.

Jane-Jane said...

a soul is a soul, a child of God's. Period. End of story. I pitty the man/lady who thinks of a person other than a child of God's....

you guys rock....look for an e-mail from me soon....you will LOVE IT!

Christina said...

Amen sista. How can anyone down something as beautiful and as precious as Zoe or Kaitlyn for that matter. Anonymous if you have negative things to say about someones blog then apparently you don't need to be reading it.

Anonymous said...

Angel,
You are so right! Adoption is nothing like a real estate deal! Adoption is love beyond comprehension. Adoption is stepping up, accepting and giving the love God has shown to us. Not one person has the right or the reason to question a child's adoption. Only true love for a child can help one comprehend the miracle that is placed before adoptive parents. You go girl!
Congrats on little Kaiya. She is beautiful.

CindiK

Anonymous said...

You are obviously an awesome Mama and I can sense the enormous amount of love in your family just by reading your posts. It's OK to go "mama bear" too; I have many times before too! You have a right to protect your babies from people who don't mean them well. Zoe looks like an extremely happy girl who just glows from the inside. It is obvious you are all extremely attached and loving to each other and your new little China baby will be extremely loved too! Thank you for sharing your life with us, I truly love reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

People have nothing better to do than to judge others. Who ever wrote that comment is bitter because they can't/are not willing to do something as AMAZING as you have done! You have an wonderful family and will forever be blessed!

(((Hugs to cute Zoe)))

Emily said...

Angel,

I'm so sorry that someone felt they had the right to say something awful about your family. This person is really missing out on some wonderful things in life with this attitude.

Emily

Katie said...

I am sorry for the nasty comments... we all love your family and support you 100% :)

Amy said...

Angel,

I am very sorry that someone has misunderstood what a beautiful blessing from the Lord adoption is, and what a wonderful picture of what the Lord has done for us-adopting us into His family.

Thank you for sharing from your heart, I have been truly blessed by your passion for these children.

In Christ,
Amy

Julie said...

You're an inspiration to many and if people can't deal with it, all we can do is pray for the Lord to change their hearts. However, my Scot granny would quote "If You can't change their hearts, then twist their ankles, so we know them by their limping"...

Hugs to you and ALL of the beautiful amazing members of your family!!

Julie said...

You're an inspiration to many and if people can't deal with it, all we can do is pray for the Lord to change their hearts. However, my Scot granny would quote "If You can't change their hearts, then twist their ankles, so we know them by their limping"...

Hugs to you and ALL of the beautiful amazing members of your family!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! We can definitely be on our knees for anonymous J. This is an individual who apparently lacks wisdom or truth. God COMMANDS us to care for orphans. We choose to love and adore these children as if they came from our own bodies.

You keep moving through life with confidence in Christ!

Meridith

Lou said...

Angel,
I;m just catching up from the last couple of days...... You are a wonderful mommy and inspiration to us all. Some people live in a box....a wonderful make believe box where everything is black and white. Going outside their box frightens them, and they don't understand those of us who live outside the box. God wants us to push the walls of the box down, and that is EXACTLY what you and Russ are doing. I'm sad for anon.J. He/she will never know the feeling that we get everytime we look at ALL our children. I am so glad that God sent you to me even just in the blogging context. You give so much to my life that you don't even realize, and I think you ROCK!
Love to you!

Anonymous said...

Angel- Just wanted you to know I'm here supporting you. I KNOW your heart- I know what an incredible mother you are- I know how REAL and loving you are. Some people will just never be able to 'get it' because they live in a world that is all about pleasing themselves- so they put other down to try to make themselves feel better. I have learned SO MUCH from you- and I am so thankful for your blog and even more for your friendship. Thanks for being EXACTLY the way you are!!! Love, Amy (see you in 5 days!!!!)

Ellie Puls said...

Hi Angel~

YOU GO GIRL...

And that is from this Momma Bear!

HUGS
Ellie, Angel and Angel!

Suzanne said...

I'm sorry you had to experience this persn's nastiness. Some people seem to enjoy hurting others. But we all know that s/he couldn't be more wrong!
Suzanne

amber said...

Well... as a fellow "I'd rather live outside the box" person, you KNOW I'm with you 100% on everything you said. You GO mama-bear!
I'm sorry that you had to even address such a comment about Zoe's adoption... it's just terrible! But like you said... it must mean you are doing something right!!

Love ya!
Amber