Friday, August 17, 2007

Zoe on adoption and skin color

In our home we try to have conversations about adoption, color and differences. I like to make sure I keep the topic open and comfortable so we have casual talks about it.

Today I asked Zoe how she was feeling lately about adoption.
She said "I feel good wif adoption cause I want a brofer." That made me giggle.
I asked her how she was feeling about HER adoption.
Zoe said: "Oh I feelin good and happy a lot. I not sad or fussy all de week."
Me: "That is great but do you have any sad feelings ever about it?"
Zoe: "I am tinkin all de time if I need to talk to my mom in Guatemala on de phone. I tink a LOT cause it make me sad."
(I have given her the choice of me trying to make contact with her Guatemala mommy while I am in the country. We have also told her to think and pray about whether she would be ready to talk to her Guatemala mommy on the phone.)
Me: "It makes you sad to think about your Guatemala mommy?"
Zoe: "No, I tink it make me sad if talk wif her with de phone."
Me: "Ohhh.. yes it will probably be hard. It doesn't mean it's bad though. You keep thinking about whether your heart is ready. That is a big decision."
Zoe: "Yeah!"
Me: "Do you have lots of friends that are different colors or are they all the same?"
Zoe: "My friend is all different colors! I haf a one friend that she is like me but more darker fan me. I haf a friend is same as me. I haf one friend is like.....more morning."
Me: "You mean she is lighter?"
Zoe: "Yes LIGHTER!"
Me: (giggling inside) "That's great. So you have lots of different colors of friends."
Zoe: "Yes, but I don't know any of dem names."
Me: (giggling again cause she is just as bad as me about names) "How do you feel about your skin? Does it ever bother you that it is different than mommy and daddys?"
Zoe: "NOOO! I like dis color cause it match all of my clothes and de nail stuff dat is red. It is dark and beautiful."
Me: (now BEAMING inside) "You are right. You DO have beautiful skin. So many people that look like me want to be darker like you."
Zoe: "Yes, you are LAYING in de sun like dis all day and try to be dis color."
Me: (now laughing out loud!) "That is so true baby."
Zoe: "I don't lay in de sun. It hot! You haf more question mommy?"
Me: "Nope. Do you have anything else you wanna tell me?"
Zoe: "No. I gonna go now wit KK to Guatmala and Afwica."
Me: "OK! Have fun."
Zoe: "OK! Bye Momma."


Farrah said...

OMG that is the cutest conversation ever...She is a doll, I couldn't imagine loving that little girl anymore!

Anonymous said...

OMG that was precious. I often wonder how my little Aiden will feel when he notices the difference in his families skin and his. I hope he is as proud of his as Zoe is.


Krystal said...

Zoe is soooo right, I would LOVE to have her skin color :) How awesome it is that you are raising a child that is aware and accepting of differences and a child that loves herslf!!!!!

Whitney said...

Ahhh!! That is so sweet! What a wonder she is!

Mandy said...

AMAZING!! That was a wonderful conversation and one I will be having with my daughter when she gets old enough to start asking the big questions.

I also would love to have your daughters or my daughters skin. Brown skin is just so lovely.

Pep said...

Zoe is an amazing little girl! I just love watching her on video!

Anita said...

Beautiful... from someone with skin like morning. :) Love that!

Kya Blu's Mommy Candy...aka KiKi said...

Ok girl you have to stop doing this to me...I just love that girl, her skin color, her birth country, the way she speaks english like a PRO now, but most of all her HEART. Please Zoe hand over your skin color so I can come in from the HEAT...HUGS

A Special Family said...

What a wonderful conversation! Sounds to me like you have build some great self-esteem there :)

Scott and Carolyn said...

That is awesome! What a wonderful conversation-I love how you are keeping everything out in the open...I want it to be this way with Elise. :) Zoe is so precious!!!

Kim said...

I read your blog and soak in all of your wonderful mommy moments. I'm learning so much from you!! Zoe is so precious - and I'm so glad she is proud of her skin!!

Melissa said...

What a wonderful conversation you had with Zoe. I have to admit that when I think about the potential for my family to adopt - this is something that I wonder about - how would my child feel about having a different skin color than the rest of the family. Would this make them feel out of place, would they long to look like the rest of us, how would they feel? Do you think that we will ever get to the day when this is not even an issue? I think that families now are becoming more and more diverse and families now look much different than they did several years ago. Maybe by the time we have grandkids or great grandkids it won't even be an issue. I hope that it becomes very common for families to be made up of many colors. I think that your approach with Zoe of having open and honest conversations is right on! I hope she always loves her brown skin - and I hope she always loves the beautiful soul inside as well!

Kristin & Greg said...

Oh, how absolutely precious!! Your family is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing that exchange!

Many blessings,

carrie said...

I love this.