Monday, July 16, 2007

To adopt or not to adopt....

Is it time to start the process? Is it NOT time? Domestic or international? Boy or girl? Baby, toddler or older child? When you are having bio babies the question is pretty much, "Do we want to have more?" If the answer is yes you better get going cause the clock is ticking. With adoption the options are not as clear cut.

I LOVE having the flexibility for sure. It does make for some grand feelings of insecurity though. What should we do? What if I get it wrong? Am I being selfish or logical? Am I walking in faith or jumping in without thinking?

I mean we can go all the way from adopt an infant now or wait ten years and adopt a sibling set who are a little older. There are NO limits. The hard part is that I am ALL OVER THE MAP! One day I want to start an adoption. The next day I am like NO WAY! Life is pretty great right now. My girls are so awesome. They are now getting pretty self sufficient and life is getting easier. It's hard to imagine starting over with a baby again.

Then again.... a BABY! Awww they are such precious little blessings. Barfing, drooling, crying blessings!!!!!!!!!! AAAACCCCKKK! I've gotten used to sleeping and I feel like Russ and I are doing great. WHY would I want to add that stress? Then again.... we both WANT more kids. I LOOOOOVE the toddler stage and I KNOW I want to do that again. This is pretty much what my brain is like these days. Hard to keep up with huh?

No wonder I feel so tired.

Angel

11 comments:

Bekah said...

Can't wait to see where the Lord leads your amazing family.

Julie said...

First - I hope you're feeling better!

Second - I'm right there with you on the adoption thing. Libby's been home for almost a year and although we want more children, we're wondering if we should. If we do, it's a private, domestic newborn most likely.... Libby was almost 11 months when she came home and I don't know if I CAN do the newborn thing!!!

I'm excited to see how your thought process on this progresses!! Keep us posted!

Valerie (mother of a crazy little Henry) said...

I think I've told you where we finally are on this question. Man, I was back and forth, hot and cold, up and down all over this issue for quite a few months after Henry came home, and it was torturous. Not only is there regular pressure from everyone about "when will you have another one", but especially in the adoption world I think about "when will you start the process again". Finally, we came to a point where the lightbulb clearly went off, and all of a sudden, we got this AMAZING peace and the conclusion "life is content for right now; don't worry about the future; rest in what you have right now", and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels and what a relief it is not to think about it anymore. And the crazy thing is, I DON'T think about it anymore, no more back and forth, on one day, off another. God has told us that for right now, this is our family, the three of us, and not to think about it for a while. He may tell us in the future, 5 or 6 years down the road, okay, time to jump back on that crazy adoption rollercoaster again! Or He may tell us, it's still the three of you and will always be the three of you. Either way, we are SOOOOOOOOO content. And man, I can't tell you how awesome it feels to be content.

Jane-Jane said...

Oh sister... I understand your heart! I'm praying for you guys as you seek God's will.

Kya Blu's Mommy Candy...aka KiKi said...

Girl I am a total TRAIN WRECK on this subject...My Foster Mom is PG and we thought that baby might be for us but now we have more knowledge on her motives and it looks like NO...I called on two childern I know about and 1 I met that are in Hogar's in Guate...both are waiting on abandenment...UGG..everytime I think I have the answer...It is not the answer...we are happy right now and life is so easy with Kya she is such an easy and happy baby...we can still go and go and go and no problems from her...but then I REALLY want her to have a Guatemalan sister...but wait a baby or a toddler???? WHO THE HECK HAS THE ANSWER FOR ME??? Sometimes I get so frustrated because others seem to have a clear path with birth siblings or just another referral or even getting more than one and I am like hey I WANT THAT...then I am like WAIT am I ready for that???? Ok I could go on about this subject all night...Hugs Candy and Kya Blu...by the way we still in TX but leaving WED night...

Reba said...

I can so identify! It is such a struggle. Even harder, I felt like I knew the answer, my dear husband did not. There are very few times in life we haven't been in agreement at the same time. Oh, the result? We are waiting for DNA results for our (hope to be) baby boy. (Tomorrow we celebrate one year out of PGN with our three year old) I hope you get your clear answers.

The McKenzie Crew said...

I love you girly:)

I wish you lived down thye street so we could get all jacked up on some starbucks and sit up all night talking about adoption!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I have recently totally lost my mind - I really have

I have been waking up every moring thinking about two more -

TWO MORE?????????????????????????

I want foster care kids up for adoption -

African American siblings -

maybe 8 and 10:)


????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I know, I know -

I am NUTS~~I would have to be - RIGHT???????????????????????????

JUlia:)

Jocelyn said...

Adopt!!!

Of course I'm Bias...Liberia is an amazing country and AoH is great...

Welcome to the rat race!

-Jocelyn & Isaac

Crystal said...

Hey you!!!!!!! OOH my Angel I went thru this!!!! I struggled and struggled with an infant or a three year old! We accepted our referral of an infant boy and I have such a peace and such a contentment!!! I will be praying for you!!! It is crazy in the adoption world so many choices it is so hard to be clear cut!!! He will lead you!!! I cannot wait to follow your journey!!! hugs to you!!!

Lucinda Naia said...

Although I have been up & down & all around on the same roller coaster you just described, I believe God gives you His divine peace when it's the right time. I just returned from a trip to Guatemala & I've called my agency to re-start my process. Don't know HOW, don't know WHEN, but I'm crystal clear on WHAT: I want to adopt child(ren) from Guatemala! Blessings & peace for you & your family....

Jennifer said...

I know this is an old post....but I hope you get this :) I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling! We have 3 bio praying to travel in about 7 weeks for our Indian Princess! And already wondering should we start another adoption? Where? Who?

Jennifer