Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Strange Milestones

I guess normally parents just celebrate the usual milestones. You know what I mean... birthdays, first steps, first whatever. I seem to be reaching some really odd milestones with Zoe. Yesterday I walked by the window and saw Zoe and Kaitlyn jumping on the trampoline. Zoe glanced over so I waved a little. Then something amazing happened! She just kept jumping. Now I know that may not seem particularly amazing to you but I felt this strange relief pour over me. I realized in that moment that it was the first time she had better things to do than stop and give her full attention to me. I know that sounds weird and I'm not even sure how to make this make sense. Ever since Zoe came home she has always needed to acknowledge us in some way. I have heard it called "anxiously attached." She has loved us from the start but there is fear and a need to try so hard. It's hard to put your finger on what feels strange but it's just that it's not always "natural." She's just so crazy attentive and perfect sometimes. Kaitlyn doesn't stop jumping and wave and then immediately run in and say, "We jump mommy. We are having fun!" every single time I walk past a window. Now please don't get me wrong! I am not complaining or saying that this behavior is at all "bad." I'm just saying it felt forced and odd sometimes. I have been waiting for the day when she would just be a normal kid who is too busy to stop everything. Now suddenly it's happening. She feels safe enough to ignore me! SWEET!!!!What a milestone for us. I know that seems really strange but it is such a great feeling. I feel like she is starting to transition from anxiously attached to firmly attached. I love seeing her finally start to feel safe for maybe the first time in her life. Now that is a milestone worth celebrating. Hugs, Angel


Bekah said...

It makes perfect sense what you are saying. Celebrate!!! That is a huge praise and a huge relief and a huge blessing, I'm sure!

Tricia said...


Makes sense to me!! :)

What a huge blessing, my friend! Thanks for sharing your heart!

Amanda said...

That is a wonderful milestone to reach. I know that even though Ananya is so young, I can't wait for the day when life doesn't revolve around me constantly. If she sees me she wants to be in my arms. Its a nice feeling after waiting so long for them, but you want to foster their independence as well. You know you will always be there. When they start to realize it you have turned a huge corner.

Congratulations!! and as always, Zoe and Kaitlyn are princess.

Betsy said...

Awesome! I love that you are so "in tune" w/ your kiddos.

What's happening w/ #3?

The McKenzie Crew said...

I love the spin you put on adoption. I am so thankful there are people like you - willing to be open and adopt whoever God puts on their hearts!!There are so many older children right now that so desperately need families!!!

I just pray that LOTS of people will read your blog -see the great realtionship you all have with Zoe and what Joy and peace she has - and feel the strength of God rise up in them and feel led to open their hearts and homes to an older child:):)

You make me PROUD to call you my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love To You All:):):):):):):)


Jane-Jane said...

How beautiful!

Anonymous said...

That's awesome! I totally hear ya!!!
And I am catching up on my blog readings...oh my goodness...your photo!!! Do people hire you out for weddings and such? I may drive across the great state of Texas to have you photograph Maya! I love the blue bonnets...we don't get them in this part of the state, so I may have to wait until next year!!

Kerry said...

That is HUGE...and AWESOME! I bet you've never been so happy to be ignored!