Sunday, January 21, 2007

What Zoe Remembers

As Zoe becomes more and more comfortable with us and her language increases she has opened up more everyday about her past. It seems that the last couple of weeks have been one revelation after another. There are some things I feel are her personal memories that I won't share publicly. However, what she shared tonight I feel free to share. Part of what she remembers is the mudslides that hit Guatemala and her home in Esquintla. As many of you know the catastrophe in October 2005 is what caused Zoe's Guatemala mommy to finally make the heartbreaking decision to find Zoe another family. Here is some of what she shared.

Zoe said that the house you see BELOW is similar to her house in Guatemala except her house was older.
Zoe remembers water up to her chest in her home. The water was full of thick mud. She and her mommy had to run. As they were running the current swept her under and started to take her away. Her mother caught her and pulled her up again. She saw trees uprooted and lying around everywhere. This is what she told me almost word for word. She speaks in broken English when she knows the words and lapses into Spanish when she doesn't. She said, "The old people died. They were little and slow. They go under the water. They could not breathe and bubbles came up. They died. It scary. We ran. I go under water. My mommy help. She take my hands. I scary."

Zoe told us that she got hurt from trees in the water. We know from the foster mother and the scars that she had infected wounds on her legs. She also had no food because everything was washed away. As she shared all of this she would stop to cry frequently.


This little miracle of a child has truly seen and been through more than many of us can comprehend. As I learn more and more about her I am amazed at her strength. I am honored by her trust.



As I learn more about her Guatemala mommy, I love her more and more. I know in my soul that this woman loved Zoe Mirna. She did all she could and lived in a place where she could not succeed. She could not help Zoe so she helped her in the only way she could. She gave her up after trying for so many years.
When I think back I realize that the first time we visited her was only 6-8 weeks after she had been through this horrific trauma. We knew she was affected by the flood but we didn't GET it. We didn't now how much she had seen and endured. We had no idea how much she understood.
It breaks my heart. My heart is to help change things. I want to help mothers like Zoe's birth mother to have choices and help and options. After all I have learned I know that Zoe's mommy had no other way out. She had no choices. It is so wrong. I hope and pray that I can somehow help to change that for other women in the future. Russ and I have a heart to not only adopt but provide a system that helps prevent adoption from becoming a neccesity. Please Lord, give us an open door to do that. Someday I truly want to help make it different-to make the world a less painful place. There is so much I don't even get. I get this though... if we all try to make a small difference, it will make a big difference. So big it might change the world.
I am only one
but I am one
I cannot do everything
but I can do something
and what I can do
and should do
by the grace of God
I will do
To see a slide show of the mudslides click here http://www.home.earthlink.net/~guatcomboston/id15.html
Love, Angel

11 comments:

Nichole...aka Mia's Mommy said...

WOW I cannot even imagine how scary that must of been for such a little girl. Thank God she and her Guatemala Mommy are ok and survived. Mia was born in Escuintla so that was always in the back of my mind, of what happened to her birth family through the mudslides. Mia was put up for adoption before the mudslides, but what would of happened if her bio mother had been killed, it woul d of taken years to get her home.

God truly does wtch over these children that are menat to be ours. And it is through their strength and courage that we get to see it.

Give Faith some extra hugs and kisses now that she is safe and warm with a full tummy.

HUGS
Nichole

The McKenzie Crew said...

Angel - I love you girl - awesome post!!

Zoe's voice and her story will change the world for some many. That child will become a woman, and the compassiom that pours from her heart - Will have an amazing impact on our world!!!!!!!

Lou and Drew (mostly Lou) said...

Angel,
Zoe's story is truly amazing. What a brave little warrior she is! I will also pray for her Guatemala mama. I can't imagine the love and strength it took to make such an unselfish decision. That is truly the definition of mother. Your family and Zoe were destined to be together. I know you all are blessed to have each other. When we adopt children we have no idea what their families go through. I thank you both for sharing this amazing story, and I send much love.

Lou

Betsy said...

The human spirit absolutely amazes me! The fact that Zoe and her family made it through this horrible disaster amazes me. What a testament to their strength.

Is Zoe in contact w/ her GuataMom? I bet it would make GuataMom feel good to hear from her.

Angel, you are doing a marvelous job. You are an inspiration to many.

Hugs

Angel said...

Thank you all. Zoe IS TRULY amazing. I am so proud of her and her sweet heart. We do not have contact with Zoe's Guatemala mommy yet. We plan on trying to make contact soon. She does not have a phone. I SO wish she did. We will try to track her down soon. Angel

Angel said...

Thank you all. Zoe IS TRULY amazing. I am so proud of her and her sweet heart. We do not have contact with Zoe's Guatemala mommy yet. We plan on trying to make contact soon. She does not have a phone. I SO wish she did. We will try to track her down soon. Angel

Angel said...

Thank you all. Zoe IS TRULY amazing. I am so proud of her and her sweet heart. We do not have contact with Zoe's Guatemala mommy yet. We plan on trying to make contact soon. She does not have a phone. I SO wish she did. We will try to track her down soon. Angel

Crystal said...

This breaks my heart!!! ooh Zoe is amazing and so so so courageous! Angel you are a wonderful mommy!!! You really are!!! Your blog inspires me!!!!

Princess D said...

Oh my! Wow! This gave me chills and I am so glad that you shared it. Your Zoe sounds like she has an amazing spirit and you must feel so blessed to be her Mom now. I enjoyed checking out your blog. I really wanted to adopt an older child in addition to our daughter when we adopted but we couldn't swing it financially. I hope to be as luck as you one day and have the opportunity.
Hugs,
D

David and Marianne said...

After I just commented on your last post, I browsed your own Guatemalan adoption. I am so touched by your story and praise God for giving your Zoe a mom and dad who love the Lord and her with all their heart. What an unimaginable tragedy for your sweet girl. I will pray for God's divine comfort and peace to surround and rest on your little girl, her birth mother and for you and your husband as well. What an experience you must be having being there in Guatemala right now...so close to where Zoe lived through those horrors. May He bless you and keep you

Expat Mom said...

I`m a Canadian expat living in Guatemala and I was pregnant with my first son when Hurricane Stan hit. It was truly awful and I can`t imagine how horrid it must have been for Zoe`s mother, trying to protect her little girl in the midst of all that. I`m glad she can remember everything her mother did for her to keep her safe.